Zoe, the Wonder Cat

Have you ever wondered how long a cat can stay locked in a dresser drawer without dying or suffering ill effects? The answer my friend isn't blowing in the wind, the answer is at least eight hours. I understand why she wanted to jump in Jake's top dresser drawer as I was putting his clothes away around 10:30 this morning. It's a cozy, snug place to cuddle up for awhile. I don't understand how I didn't notice her jump up in there or see her as I was stuffing pajamas in the drawer. I also don't understand why she didn't make a sound a few hours later when we realized she was missing and were frantically going through all the rooms in the house calling her name. We even both looked in that closet and heard not a peep. Dogs come when you call their names. What is it with cats? Maybe it was because earlier when she was crying and I thought I heard muffled kitty cries, I got sidetracked and didn't go looking for her. Perhaps she only wants to be rescued on her terms. I'm not sure, but it's a good thing I decided to put fresh pajamas on Jake tonight (doesn't always happen). Because when I opened up that drawer to pull out the pj's I saw a sweet little calico head peeping back at me. And I've never been so happy to see a cat. I thought she was gone for good. I was about to check our bank account to see what we could offer for a reward in case she was out in the neighborhood somewhere. I'm so glad she was in the house because I'm not sure how many people would have been out looking for her when they saw my sign offering a $4.38 reward.

The Man

Did you see Rick Springfield on Oprah yesterday? I recorded it and watched it today because I had no idea he was on the show until Amy and Laura told me I had to watch it. And I'm so glad I did. Have I ever mentioned that I love this man? Because I do. And you may not believe this, but I've been wondering for years how to get him (and me) on the Oprah show. Well, at least he finally made it. And she called him a rock icon which I love because he is even if some people make fun of him to this day. Because they are just jealous. She showed clips of him on several old TV shows and of course General Hospital, then she interviewed him, and then of course he sang Jessie's Girl. Oh, yeah, and there was the clip where he went and surprised a fan of his at her place of employment. Okay. I need this to happen to me. It doesn't have to be at work, but sometime before one of us dies, I really, really want to meet Rick. So, if you're ever wondering what to get me for Christmas or my birthday or St. Patrick's Day please, just think about setting up a meeting for me with Rick. And maybe a little concert. That is all.

A.I.

I'm not usually one to jump on a particular performer's bandwagon so early in the season, but after watching American Idol tonight, I am just so glad David Archuletta made it into the top 20. He is just the cutest. I was a bit uneasy when I realized he was going to be singing John Lennon's song "Imagine" because that is one of my all time favorites and I don't like people messing with my favorite things. But, really, he was just fabulous. I was looking around our house for a lighter so I could turn out all the lights and sway to the music with it held high above my head. Honestly, this is as close to a concert as I'm going to be getting for the next few years. And at seventeen, he just seems like such a nice person. He's appreciative and doesn't seem to be letting all of this madness go to his head. I'm a fan. I'm also a fan of Michael Johns, the guy from Australia. He wasn't great this week, but I think we can expect big things from him in the future. I'm an expert because of my extensive musical background, so I know these things.

In other American Idol news, is it just me or does Simon seem to be particularly nasty this season? I usually agree with his critique of the vocals, but this year he is just trashing the contestants on a personal level that is unprecedented. I don't like it. Someone needs to slip a happy pill into his Coke next week. Well, I'm off to find my John Lennon greatest hits CD and my purple lighter. Should be a great night.

Wii may have a problem

Saturday night one of Mike's buddies from work came over. He brought his girlfriend and we made chicken wings and had a big, messy, really good dinner. Then, this buddy brought in the thing that might just be more addictive than my daily coke or chocolate fix. Have you heard of the Wii? It's like Nintendo on crack. It was so much fun! Maybe it's just because Mike and I don't get out a lot anymore, but we really love playing this thing. We played video games for four hours straight Sat. night. I haven't done that since I attended a birthday party in the sixth grade at the local arcade where I spent all my tokens on pac-man. Well, okay maybe in college I played super mario brothers for four hours straight, but only because I needed a study break.

And then a really bad (good) thing happened. He offered to let us keep it for the week. Oh, my. Mike and I introduced ourselves to the joys of boxing this morning. It was an all out brawl. He won by knocking me out in the tenth round. It's hard to not get into this game since it is interactive. If you're playing tennis for instance, you really swing your remote control to get the racket to move. After a night of bowling, tennis and golf I think I may have pulled or even dislocated something in my shoulder.

Aside from the bodily injuries, I'm a little concerned about my attitude while playing. Let's just say I'm not always a good sport. Like when we were playing an operation game this morning and I just kept whining because Mike wasn't letting me have a turn and he was removing all of this guy's bone fragments himself and all I got to do was put in sutures. Come on. I haven't watched years of medical shows on television to just sew people up when I finally get the chance to do a pretend operation on someone!

And you know the really scary thing? I'm afraid that at the end of this week, Mike's buddy is really going to want to take the Wii back. And we won't have it anymore. And our lives will be filled with a big, black Wii-less void. A void that can only be filled with more coke and chocolate.

For mom

Do you smell something?

Today I went with Amy to a pilates class at her gym. I was a little hesitant to go only because she had told me last week that while she was in there someone kept passing gas. Not acceptable. I understand if it happens once, but if it's a continual problem in a closed in situation like that, you really need to remove yourself from the general public. Because essentially, the gas passer was holding the other gym members hostage. They should have the opportunity to vote that person out or something. Anyway, it was not only the fear of smelling something unpleasant that made me consider staying home, it was the fear of my reaction to the sound of the smell if there was one. At what point should a person be mature enough to not think potty humor is a little funny?

I say this because a couple years ago back in California at my yoga class, a lady in the row right in front of me kept passing gas every time we did a crunch. Every single time. I know this because they were not silent emissions. And although I managed to not laugh out loud, I was lying on the floor silently convulsing with my shoulders shaking thinking why doesn't she just get up and leave?! This is killing me! I know that everybody does it, myself included, but really if anybody other than immediate family, best friends, or hospital staff is around to witness it, then you need to discreetly excuse yourself.

Unless you're a small child of course. And you just can't control yourself. Like yesterday at school when we were walking our two year olds to another building for a special program. One of our cute little girls looked up at me smiling and said "Miss Kim? I pooted." So I said, "that's okay, hon. Everybody does it." To which she replied, "yes, I found some relief." So in the end I guess we all need to remember that it is our bodily functions that bind us together. We're all just going through life looking for a little relief.

School Pictures

I was thrilled in January when we found out that a real live photographer was going to be at our mother's day out program to take pictures of all of the kids. I couldn't wait to see how Jake would do. He's become quite a ham when he sees a camera lately. Much to my surprise and horror, they also wanted us teachers to get a picture taken. I'm posting the results of these pics because I figure you might have had a hard day and maybe you need a laugh. I just love the picture of baby Jake. Maybe you can't tell because I took a picture of a picture, but he has the most adorable expression on his face. That photographer cracked him up. We won't worry that he's already showing signs of the lazy eye I usually have in my own pictures. It's cute on a baby. Of course there was a charge for the pictures of Jake, but the photographers were generously GIVING AWAY the pictures of the teachers. FOR FREE! Because really, who among us would pay for this? It is an 8 by 10 of mostly just my head. First of all, he totally posed me. I was so uncomfortable by the time he snapped the camera. I actually got a leg cramp from it. Can you tell how he has me with my hand on my leg and my torso twisted and my left kidney perfectly aligned with my right one? I'm just saying, I was not comfortable at this particular photo shoot. Secondly, can someone give a sister some lipstick? I'm sad to say that I'm a low maintenance girl trapped inside a high maintenance body. There were two other ladies in the room neither of whom told me maybe I should go look in a mirror first. Finally, isn't it nice when your shirt AND hair match the background in a photo? Wow. So that all you can really see in the picture is the white orb that is my face with two piercingly blue eyes sticking out? Someone is in serious need of a tan. My high school year book called and asked if this picture could come over sometime. Maybe I'll just forward it to our reunion committee so they can put it in their slideshow for our twenty year reunion. And no, that white spot on my boob isn't really in the picture, it's just from the flash of my camera. Because really, that would have just ruined the entire photo.

Clearly I lost my owner's manual

Today I was talking to Amy about the escapades of potty training her three year old. I've also heard from my friend Laura that this is quite a big challenge. To protect the innocent, I won't go into the details of their ordeals, but after that phone call I sat there thinking how lucky I am that Jake is still in diapers. I am just not ready to deal with the mental torture of telling a toddler to do his business in a big boy potty. And then having them refuse.

So, not an hour later, I had to change little mister's diaper. First of all I made the mistake of telling him that's what I was going to do. Because as soon as I said the words, he grabbed his butt and made a bee line out the bedroom door. This child hates having his diaper changed. I just don't get it. He starts screaming as soon as you make a move to lay him on his back. Once you get him there, he starts the full body kicking. Let's just say that I need some sort of athletic equipment to protect parts of my body when he starts up with the kicking. Do they make jock straps for ladies?

Diaper changes usually involve a lot of kicking, crying, twisting, trying to get up and run away, hitting the diaper and trying to rip it from his body. I swear, sometimes I just have to tell Mike to knock it off already and get the baby changed.

Seriously, what is the big deal? There are not many things in life I know for certain, but I know this. If someday I am ever walking around with a droopy, wet, poopy diaper, please God, let someone change me! Is this already some kind of control issue? Or could he just hate to be laying on his back? I have resorted to changing wet diapers while he's standing up or on the move, but clearly this could be a dangerous approach to changing the poopy ones. I estimate that by the time Jake is potty trained we will have spent somewhere between four and five thousand dollars on diapers. It just seems like we should be able to get some sort of joy out of that kind of an investment.

Happy Valentine's Day!

And more importantly, Happy Birthday to my wonderful Daddy! Love you, love you, love you.

And the winner is....

MEL!!! Thanks so much for participating in my contest. It just amuses me. I love reading all the entries. In the end I had to toss a coin to choose between Mel and Laura's entries. Sorry, Laura, you were tails! Also loved the anonymous entry about having competition but, alas, I don't know how to send a fabulous prize if I don't know who you are! So, Mel, you can be expecting your $10 Old Navy gift card in the mail soon! Sorry the prizes are kind of lame. As soon as this blog of mine starts making money, the prizes will be way more fabulous.

High School Reunion

My twenty year high school reunion is right around the corner. That's right, I said twenty. How is it possible that it has been twenty years since I (and my big ole eighties style hair) graced the halls of Amarillo High School? I really can't believe it. When I told Mike he said, "WOW! I haven't even had my ten year reunion yet!" Um, hon? Not helping.

I didn't go to the ten year reunion because the pain of my high school days was just still too fresh and also I felt like a pretty big loser at the time. I was out of college working at the Hyatt answering phones for about $7.50 an hour, not using my degree in the least, wasn't married, and felt like my life wasn't going anywhere. I just couldn't stand the thought of seeing all those people from the past and having to answer questions about myself when I was sure they were all married, having babies, and were probably multi-millionaire's by then. Oh, and also I was afraid no one would remember me without my Bon Jovi style hair-do.

So, fast forward ten more years and I'm feeling pretty good about life now. Things started looking up in my thirties. Amy and I have been talking about going to this reunion and I was pretty excited at first. But the closer it gets, the more misgivings I have about going. First of all, it would require some major working out on my part so I could be in the best possible shape ever. Secondly, it seems they can't find almost half of our graduating class. And lately, I've been reminded of some of the bone headed things I did and said back in high school and I'm concerned that other people out there might also remember them. But on the other hand (and probably the more realistic of my hands) I'm still thinking that most people just won't remember me. So then, why bother with going? It would be fun if I ran into some of my old friends that I've lost touch with but what are the odds that those are the people who will show up? It will probably just be the popular crowd who shunned me in my formative years and why would I want to talk to them now? These are the same people who pelted me and my fellow band members with tennis balls while we were practicing for marching band one summer. I mean I could impress them with all of my accomplishments like owning my own business, being on the Oprah show, and winning the Nobel Peace Prize and all. Oh, wait, none of that has happened yet. Anyhow, I keep thinking that I spent three years of my life not being able to wait to get out of high school and I just don't know if I'm ready to go back yet. Maybe I'll just wait and go to the fifty year. That sounds good.

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Name that Photo!

I just love this picture taken over Thanksgiving with Jake's cousin Alia. I think it needs a title. The winner will be picked on Sunday the 10th and will win an absolutely fabulous prize! Good luck!

I have a slight problem

This is a picture of a hazelnut chocolate chip cookie with chopped up Skor bar in it. They're good. I made them this afternoon and Jake ate one and thought it was good. The problem is I have now eaten five of them. And they're pretty big cookies. Hi, I'm Kim, and I'm a sugar addict. Also, I am a Coke addict. Which is better than being a coke addict if you know what I mean. I prefer white powder in the form of flour and sugar baked into some gooey bundle of goodness and not snorted up my nose. But still, I'm tired of these cravings getting the best of me. I was doing pretty good keeping my diet under control throughout the Holidays. So when I weighed myself after Christmas and realized I had finally reached my pre-pregnancy weight I decided to celebrate with some form of chocolate and I just haven't stopped since. I eat chocolate every day. And in a perfect world I would drink a Coke everyday as well. In fact, if I could dip my chocolate in the Coke that would be great. So, Mike and I decided to have a contest to see who could give up coke for the longest period of time. Today was my first day and when four o'clock hit I just needed a little pick me up and since I couldn't have a coke, I ate two cookies. And now I've had five. There must be an alternative. And no, I really don't crave fruits or vegetables so when I'm in the midst of these sugar fits I just HAVE to have chocolate. Any suggestions?

Action Shots

Having a snack.


Loving on Zach the Cat.




Playing basketball with Katie.