Daddy diapering

Every now and then I have the opportunity to leave our coop and meet one of my friends out in public. The last two times I've gone somewhere I have come home to find Emma dressed solely in a diaper with a big piece of duck tape going around it holding it on. Apparently, she chooses to take off her diaper and make a big ole mess with her poop when I'm not home. Poor Mike. He may never let me leave the house again. Yesterday, while I was gone, he went to get Emma up after her nap and was greeted by her sitting in her crib with her shorts and diaper off. She was also sitting in a big pool of pee and had smeared poop all over her bed and the toys in her bed. These are the days he'll remember fondly when we're old, right? He did tell me the other day that someday when he's 90 years old I'll be changing his diapers. I had to remind him that when he's ninety I'll just be dead. So, it looks like I'll be getting out of all of the smeared poopy diapers in my lifetime. But, maybe he can get Emma to come over and take care of him if he keeps reminding her of her diaper adventures throughout life. Just a thought.

I never did get a great picture of the tape job. But, here is Emma all strapped up.

Quite Possibly the Scariest Moment of my Life!

You may remember that my niece, Katie, came to stay with us a couple weeks ago. The last night she was here we somehow got on the subject of ghosts. She asked me if I had ever seen a ghost or believed in them. My answer was an emphatic YES! She asked me to explain so I regaled her with a tale from my childhood. The way I remember my childhood, that is.

When I was very little we moved to a small town called Hereford, Tx. We rented a house there while we waited for our house to be built. I remember not liking that house one bit. It had a basement that I was scared to go into because it smelled funny. And I distinctly remember hearing strange noises at night. I remember hearing the kitchen cabinets opening and closing. I also remember that some mornings we would wake up with those kitchen cabinets open for no good reason at all. Spooky, right?

Well, that night after telling Katie and Mike about my haunted house experience, they decided to play a little trick on me. Mike gave Katie the idea and then she ran with it. After I went to sleep, she got up and opened every single kitchen cabinet and drawer in our house.

That also happened to be a night where Jake wasn't sleeping well. I got up several times to go check on him. The last time I went to him he asked me for some water. I went into the kitchen and turned on a light. Then I saw all of the open doors and went hysterical. I ran into our bedroom and woke up Mike. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that he had to come look at the kitchen because I was FREAKING! OUT! He pretty much busted out laughing right away and told me that Katie was just trying to scare me. WEll, it worked. Good thing I have a strong heart.

Anyway, the next day I told my sister about it and she could not remember ever living in a haunted house. I was sure I had talked about this with my parents before so I called up mama to confirm. She told me "honey, that never happened." I was shocked. I have told this story to many people in my lifetime and apparently it was all one, big lie. It never happened. Could it be I took a scene from a movie (I'm thinking Poltergeist) and made it part of my history? I really am crazy. It also freaks me out that I clearly remember a conversation with my mom not so long ago where she confirmed the house was haunted. Who am I having conversations with anyway? People in my head?

Clearly, my sense of reality has become skewed. Now, I'm starting to worry that other things from my past might not really have happened either. Was I really never in detention with four people from very different cliques in high school? Did my family really never forget my 16th birthday in all the hub bub of my sister getting married? Did I not feed m&m's to a loveable extra terrestrial at some point? And, oh my word, did that family vacation to the lake resort where I met Johnny and learned to dance really never happen? I think I need to go lay down. Hopefully, when I wake up this will all have been a bad dream.

A little hodge podge

Oh, the summer heat has been killing me. I haven't even felt like typing. But yesterday a cool front came in so we're down to the mid-nineties. The kids and I were actually able to play outside for two hours this morning! With no heat stroke! Anyway, let's catch up on what's been happening.

~Do you know how long it takes a curious toddler to pull a forgotten glass off of a table, drop it on the floor and then fall on top of the shattered pieces? Less than a minute! Mike and I both went with her this time to urgent care while our friends watched Jake. Less than an hour and eleven stitches later, she was all better. Mike took a picture of the wound while we were there but it's too ghastly to post. I might put one up later now that her knee is looking better. She should be getting the stitches out on Saturday.

~I'm happy to report that Jake is completely potty trained! I'll give you a second to do a happy dance for us. Okay, thanks. He woke up last Thursday and decided he was ready to poop in the potty. We were thrilled. He made it in just under the deadline too. I really needed for him to be completely potty trained by the time Mother's Day Out started again so I wouldn't have to go buy pull ups.

~Have you heard about the Jeep Grand Cherokees that seem to explode if they are hit from behind because of where the fuel tank is located? Yeah, we have one. So, if you see us on the road please stay way far behind us. Thanks.


~We started Mother's Day Out yesterday. Traffic was so bad it took us 45 minutes to get there which made me about five minutes late to our morning meeting on the first day of work. Thank God I work at a place that offers grace continuously. Also, while we were stuck in that traffic I heard Jake in the back seat whining that "the poopies are coming!" He's had a little stomach thing the last couple days. I just knew I was going to have to clean him up in the parking lot before we ever made it to school. But, thankfully, he was able to hold it in until we got inside. Also, he didn't have any accidents with it at school. I was fearful he might not be able to make it to the potty in time while he was in his class and then he would forever be known as "Poopers" or something.

Okay, I think we're caught up. Hope everyone is off to a great school year!

Happy 29 Big D!

Today is Mike's birthday. I'm taking him out to dinner at an actual adult restaurant tonight. Since we aren't really going to be able to celebrate with the kids tonight I went ahead and made him a birthday dinner at home last night. Steak, baked potatoes and corn on the cob, oh my! Then we brought out the big birthday cookie and sang happy birthday to him. Jake still thinks every birthday is about him so he couldn't wait to have his cookie. I can't wait to have a night out with just my hubby! We may have to just sit and observe a few moments of silence.


Happy Birthday to the best hubby and daddy we could ever hope for! You are a very patient and kind man to put up with all of us.

Visit with Katie

Last week my niece, Katie, came to stay with us for a couple of days. It's always so good having her here. I wish my nephew could come too but he is WAY too busy with football and band. Anyhow, we had a great time with her. On Thursday we packed up everyone and headed off to Sea World to make use of our season passes. It was about 150 degrees outside. I just told everyone that we were going to have fun no matter how hot and miserable we all were. Emma was so excited she fell asleep in the car on the way to San Antonio.

The first thing we did when we arrived was head over to the dolphin tank. We bought some fish for the kids to feed to the dolphins this time. What a racket. If you want to make some extra money get yourself a bunch of little, tiny fish and then sell them for $1.50 to crazy people who want to feed animals. I wonder if I could make any money by sitting out in my front yard selling dog food to the neighborhood kids so that they could feed my dog with it. Just an idea. Oh, well. As the Visa credit card commercials tell us, some things are priceless.


Next, we headed over to the water park. The kids loved it! Katie took turns taking Mike and I on the giant water slides while the other one of us watched Jake and Emma. When we had had enough of the water we walked over to the dolphin stadium for the much anticipated new dolphin show. It was kind of a let down. The acrobats were cool, but we didn't see a whole lot of dolphin action.


However, the turkey legs were outstanding. Emma reminds me so much of Katie sometimes. Both of these girls love meat! Emma devoured our leg.



After the show, Katie took me on a very scary roller coaster where we both nearly peed our pants from fear and laughter. We finished up the day with a trip to the penguins and then Mike, Katie and Jake went on the log ride. Katie and Jake passed out on the way home.


Here are the cousins on our last day together. Jake and Emma love their Katie!

Wordless Wednesday

A Day in the Life of Jake

I saw on the Rookie Moms website where someone did a photo documentary of a day in the life of their child and I thought it was super cute. This mom had a way of labeling her pictures on the picture itself which was really cute. I don't know how to do that so we'll just have to have captions under the pics. Here is Jake's day!


Rise and shine! 7:23am~he slept in today!


Breakfast at 8:25am. Yogurt, banana, toast with blackberry jelly.


9:10am. Morning walk with Emma and Brady.


10:00am. Playtime at the park.


10:40am. Fruit chew snack and watching Free Willy while mama showers.


11:15am. Puzzle races and playtime.


11:40am. Lunchtime. Bean and cheese taco, green peas and a roasted sweet potato wedge. (I was cleaning out the fridge!)


Noon. Playing with penguins while watching March of the Penguins.


1:15pm. Reading books.


2:30pm. Naptime!

4:30pm. Playtime with friend Aiden. I forgot to take pictures.


6:30pm. Dinner~Pizza!



7:15pm. Bathtime.


8:30pm. Watering trees.

9:00pm. Bedtime! Nestle down, covers tight. Hugs and kisses. Goodnight, goodnight!

Happy Birthday Crabby, and you too Shamu!

Last week I was looking for something new to do with the kids that didn't require us getting out in the 100 degree weather and that didn't require us spending any money. Also, I felt chocolate cake was in order. Every now and then Jake asks me if it's Mr. Crab's birthday yet so I decided we would declare last Monday his birthday and have a party. Jake was super excited. He also wanted it to be Shamu's birthday party. Who am I to say no? We had a super exciting double birthday party.

First, we made invitations and decorated the house with previously made ocean art work. We wanted the guests of honor to feel at home.


The picture of the octopus had cheerios glued onto its arms the day before for suction cups. However, in a snack rage, Jake ate them off when he was supposed to be napping.

We baked a cake.






And we even sang Happy Birthday to the crew. Don't you love the streamers on our light fixture? I thought they made it look like a jellyfish. Jake thought it looked like an octopus. Mr. Crab thought it looked like streamers hung from the light fixture. He's so picky. Anyway, after we had cake, we took everyone out to the front yard for a water balloon fight.

I think Crab and Shamu really liked this part. Look at them. Can't you feel the excitement?



All in all a good time was had by all. Except for maybe me during the water balloon fight because Mike does not fight fair. Apparently, he has not been schooled in proper water balloon fight etiquette. Even Mr. Crab and Shamu were appalled. Needless to say, I ended up soaking wet and then of course our neighbors came over to socialize and I had to explain the whole birthday party for stuffed animals thing. And now I'm pretty sure I'm known as the crazy lady on the block.

Wordless Wednesday

A Little Christmas in July

I subscribe to a site called Productive Parenting. Every day they email you a suggestion for things to do with your children based on their age. Last week, one of the suggestions for Jake was to read him a book about the Little Gingerbread Boy and then bake gingerbread boy cookies.

I went to the library and found two books about gingerbread people. One was The Little Gingerbread Boy and the other was The Little Gingerbread Baby. Quite frankly, I found both books to be a bit disturbing but Jake was thoroughly entertained by them. We read the books for a few days and then yesterday we made some dough for the cookies. Jake and Emma Mae both helped.




The dough had to be refrigerated for a few hours so by the time Mike got home from work it was ready to go and he helped the kids decorate cookies. I have to say they were quite yummy. I can't wait until Christmas gets here so I can make another batch! Here is a link to the recipe if you're interested.

Free Willy!

Be still my mama heart. They are just as excited about whales as I am!

I Quit

I surrender. As of today, the children have defeated me. My only hope is that tomorrow is another day. You ever see those mommies out there who make everything look easy and fun? Well, I am not one of those mamas. And frankly, those mamas don't have my children. If they did, they would not be out in public with nicely done hair and makeup wearing cute little outfits with no wrinkles or stains on them. They would not be singing songs they made up to their children while laughing and smiling the whole time either.

I love my kids. I don't want anyone else's children. But sometimes, some days, they win. Like today, for example. Every morning I load both kids into our mammoth jogging stroller, provide each one of them with a separate snack (because they CANNOT share anymore), grab the mammoth sized dog and we go for a walk. This morning I think it took me 45 minutes to get them out the door and into the stroller. Emma did not want me to change her diaper. That probably took a good ten minutes. She's incredibly fast and wily. Then, she did not want to get dressed. That took another ten minutes. Usually I'm in a full body sweat by the time I get Emma changed in the morning. I finally got her ready to go and then I looked at Jake who was dressed but shoeless. I told him to go find his shoes so we could go. He said "okay Mama!" Five minutes later I found him in his room playing with his toys. I reminded him that he was supposed to be looking for his shoes. He said, "oh, okay Mama!" He walked out of his room, into the living room and found Mr. Crab sitting on the couch. After a heart wrenching reunion where he proclaimed his love for Crabby over and over again I gently reminded him to look for his shoes already. By this time I had found one of the shoes so we just needed one more. Five minutes later, Jake comes running over to me saying "I FOUND IT MOMMY!" I said, "no, Jake. That's Shamu. You're looking for a shoe." Finally, we had everyone ready and headed out for the walk. Just in time for the rain to start. I thought about turning around and going back into the house. And then I thought it just took forever to get out here so we are walking no matter what! And we did.

Later, we needed to go to Target because Emma was almost out of diapers. I started trying to get them out the door at 10:35am. We actually made it into the car at 11:18. Seriously. Once again, Emma did not want her diaper changed. She does this little game I like to call 'Limp as a Noodle, Stiff as a Board.' If you try to pick her up to take her somewhere against her will she will arch her back, throw back her head and kick you as hard as she can. Then, when you get her in check and start to pull her up to your own body she goes completely limp which causes you to almost drop her on the ground. Sometimes she goes limp first. Sometimes she's stiff first. She likes to mix it up just to keep you on your toes. This is especially fun when you're trying to get her in her car seat.

I finally got her ready to go when I looked over and saw Jake making this awful face. I asked him what was up and he said "P-U, I pooped!" That was an understatement. Remember he's in underwear now too. Needless to say, that pair of underwear had to be destroyed. By the time we rolled down the driveway I realized it was almost their lunch time. We had a little impromptu lunch at Chick Fil A before going to Target.

Jake spent most of lunch underneath the table doing who knows what. When he wasn't under the table he was turning around bothering the people in the booth behind us so I actually preferred him to be under the table. Emma was good until her nuggets were gone and then she decided to flip out and dip her plastic cow toy she got in ketchup and hurl it across the restaurant. I will forever be haunted by images of red ketchup flying through the air. When lunch was over, I rewarded their behavior by letting them play at the play scape. Ten minutes later I told them it was time to leave to go to Target. Jake complied. Emma did not. She took off up to the top of the play scape and sat down. I said "Emma! It's time to go now. Come down." She said "Nuh-uh." We did that for about five minutes with the other two moms in there kind of laughing about the whole thing. I eventually had to climb up to the top of the play scape and haul her down.

On the way to Target I had to have a little prayer time. And the Lord blessed me. The children were pretty good through Target and Emma is now taking a nap. Jake has come out of his room twice so far but I'm still hopeful that he will nap too. Just in case, I have made a small white flag out of one of Mike's t-shirts that I plan on hanging outside our bedroom door to let them know that they win.

***UPDATE***

This actually all took place yesterday. I just didn't want to post it on Wordless Wednesday because it had so many words. As of today, Little Mama is back in charge.

Wordless Wednesday