All I want for Christmas is some sleep

You ever have one of those days where all you want to do is take a nap? Even a power nap would do. Just 20 little minutes. Well, today was one of those days. Allergies are killing me right now. Last night to soothe a sore throat I made the mistake of brewing up some Earl Gray tea and had a cup around 8 pm. So even though I didn't feel good the caffeine from the tea kept me awake until 2am. Partner that fact with a wake up time of 7:30 this morning and I really needed a nap around 3 o'clock today.

Our children no longer nap. Napping is for babies. So in order for me to get a nap I need some cooperation from the offspring. I gave them the option of playing quietly in their bedrooms or watching a show quietly in the playroom. They chose the latter. So, I put on a Christmas show that lasted one hour. I told them that I was sick and needed some rest. I made them promise to be quiet until the show was over. Then I headed for the couch in the living room.

3:05pm-Lay down on the couch. Spread green blanket over myself. Close my eyes. Long sigh of relief.

3:08pm-Hear wailing and crying coming from playroom. Raise my voice just enough to tell children to get quiet and get along or they would be banished to their bedrooms. Close eyes. Long sigh of relief.

3:10pm-Begin dreaming of Scooby Doo. Don't ask me why.

3:15pm-Hear loud crash from playroom of cascading plastic pieces. Loudly ask the question "Who just did that?" No answer. Reiterate that I am sick and they better be quiet so I can sleep. Close eyes. Long sigh of exasperation.

3:18pm-Again with the loud crashing cascading plastic. Throw green blanket off. Get up and head to playroom. Again with the question "Who did that?" Found culprit surrounded by a pile of legos. Strongly suggested to the children that they remain quiet from here on out so mommy could get some rest. Appealed to their sense of reason. When they are sick they like to sleep. So does mommy. If mommy kept them awake they would be mad. So is mommy.

3:20pm-Head back to couch. Put green blanket back over me. Long, long sigh. Close eyes. Start to dream of children that take naps. Feel something being placed on my chest. Open my eyes to see Jake's new larger than life Shamu sitting on top of me. Really? Hear giggles and feet running back to playroom.

3:21pm-Close my eyes again. Pray for sleep. Pray for children who obey. Long sigh.

3:23pm-Starting to drift off again. Begin to feel like someone (other than Shamu) is watching me. Hear breathing right in my ear. Feel a pair of eyes boring into my closed eye lids. Decide to ignore intruder. Keep my eyes closed. Feel another set of eyes. Smaller ones I think. Four eyes peering at me, willing me to wake up. Play dead.

3:25pm-Hear patter of feet heading back to the playroom. It worked! It totally worked! Keep eyes closed. Long sigh. So excited that I am about to take a nap.

3:30pm-Screaming from the playroom. Something about Jake not doing something the way Emma Mae wants him to do it. I don't know. Are you freaking kidding me right now? Throw off the blanket. Get off the couch and huff my way to the playroom. Look at offspring and ask them why they hate me so much. Am told that they don't hate me. They love me. Ask why they won't let me sleep when I'm sick if they love me so much. Little girl tells me it is because she just needs to be with me.

3:31pm-Give up on nap. Curl up on playroom floor with little boy and even littler girl and watch Olive the other Reindeer. Good times.

Gingerbread and things

On Tuesday my sister and niece came over after school to watch the kids so Mike and I could go out for awhile. It was a much needed break. We went to Torchy's Tacos to eat and then saw a movie. The new James Bond movie. Both the tacos and the movie were good. There's a part of me that always feels like I'm doing something wrong when we go out without the kids though. How long is that gonna last?

The kids had all sorts of fun with Cheryl and Katie. They went out to eat pizza at Schlotzsky's. Then they came home and decorated gingerbread ornaments. Jake made a whole family to put on the tree. They were going to make gingerbread cookies too but I think they ran out of time. Or attention span. Who knows. So the kids and I busted out the dough yesterday to bake the cookies. We made a few Christmas trees and stars too. Our gingerbread doesn't believe in shape discrimination.

Other than that we have been hanging at the house the last few days as one or all of us keep getting sick. Jake is having the best time playing with all of his new birthday toys.

If only he could experience the joy of sharing and let his little sister play with them too! Poor thing, this morning I found her playing with the laundry basket and some of her stuffed animals.

Sick Days

You may remember that Jake spent his entire birthday week sick with the flu. So it was no huge surprise when Emma Mae woke up with a fever yesterday morning and complained of having a headache. We immediately thought flu and rearranged plans for the day. I told her she would have to stay home from school and she seemed very relieved. I thought she would be disappointed to miss her last day of school before the Christmas break-and the Christmas party they were going to have.

Instead she sat crying at the kitchen table because she was so stressed out about the food choices at her Christmas party. She said, and I quote, "there's gonna be too much food choices at that party and it will be too confusing to me. I can't handle it!" Oh, little girl. If the food choices at a three year old Christmas party are too much to handle then I hate to think about your future in high school. There are many confusing times to come.

Anyhow. Back to the flu. Fortunately, Mike didn't have to be at school so he was able to stay home with Em while I went to work. He took her to the doctor and they did both a flu test and a strep test on her. Both came back negative. However, since the dr. just knew it was flu they gave her a prescription for Tamiflu. So, off they went to fill the prescription. Mike gave her the first dose of medicine right before I got home and then he went to work.

Not fifteen minutes later, Emma Mae was puking all over me and herself and the living room rug. I told Mike about it later and he informed me that the pharmacist warned him it might upset her tummy. Useful information. Little girl took a nap and ran fever the rest of the day.

But this morning, lo and behold, she woke up perfectly fine. And so far she has remained fine! So either her body has a fantastic immune system that is able to kick flu's butt in less than 24 hours or she never actually had the flu. I, however, have developed both a runny, stuffy nose and pink eye in the last six hours. I would take some medicine for it but there are just too many choices for medication out there. And I just can't handle it.

I'm having a hard time with December 14th. I'm having a hard time because twenty sets of parents lost a child in a senseless act of violence on that day. Yet, that day is one of the happiest of my life because it is the day that Jacob Michael Flinn finally decided to enter the world six years ago. As soon as I heard that the kids who died were all six or seven years old I knew I couldn't walk away from this one. Too close. I know a six year old. He runs through our house. He defeats bad guys. He makes videos of his toys doing nothing while he sings songs about them. He tells jokes that don't make sense but we laugh at them anyway. He trips his little sister on purpose then tells me it's an accident. He buys his little sister presents. He needs to play by himself in his room sometimes for privacy. He needs to sit right next to me on the couch sometimes to make sure I'm still there for him. I know what six looks like-as does this blogger who says it better than I could. http://jrowewalters.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/what-six-looks-like/

I haven't watched much of the television coverage of that awful event. I can't seem to handle it. I cry. I feel defeated. I feel broken. And if I (who still has my six year old) feel that way then how do I fathom what those parents feel? I can't. Grief is a tide. I imagine those parents are drowning in a high tide right now. I imagine emotion is so overwhelming that lungs are burning. Eyes are blurry. Minds uncomprehending. Existing moment to moment. Trying to make it through one more hour. Waiting. Waiting for the tide to roll out again. To be able to take a breath. But then low tide comes and lays bare everything that the high tide had buried. Treasures. A favorite toy. A picture. A memory. Low tide scrapes away rocks and peels away layers of sediment and shifts things around. Low tide leaves scars.

We turn off the TV if the kids are in the room because we don't want them to know about what happened. At six, would Jake even understand? Of course not. I'm 43 and I don't understand. After he got on the bus this morning I had a small panic attack about whether or not he would hear something from an older child or teacher today. If he did, he didn't mention it. That's the beauty of six. You still get to be a bit oblivious to life.

Except what if you are one of the six year olds who survived? I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around that scenario. How does a normal six year old process something so completely abnormal in their world? How do you watch your teacher get killed and come out okay? These are the children that need our prayers.

I really believe that prayer is the only answer here. A return to God. Sure, maybe stricter gun control laws or better screening and treatment for mentally ill people would help too. But nothing trumps prayer. And if you can't get behind God then maybe you can get behind what He stands for. Compassion. Love.

Happy 6!

Somehow our sweet little baby boy turned six years old on Friday. Five seemed big. Six seems like Oh my goodness he'll be moving out soon! Stop growing! Stay little!

Anyway he told me he wanted a Spiderman birthday cake and he opted to forgo a birthday party with a bunch of Kinder friends for a family dinner and a trip to Sea World. See why we love him so much?
Unfortunately, he got sick the Saturday before his birthday. And he stayed sick for exactly one week. Oh flu, how we hate you. Jake missed an entire week of school and he was still running a fever on his birthday. But my parents and sister and all of her sweet family decided to risk the germs and came over for dinner anyhow.

I couldn't decide on the cake. Chocolate cake with chocolate icing? White cake with white icing? Chocolate cake with white icing? So, in the end, I made them all. You only turn six once right?

Evidently we didn't take pictures of any of the party attendees. But Emma Mae and I were definitely there.

He got lots of new toys. And some shirts. And a hat.

I think he had as much fun as a sick boy can have on his sixth birthday. The next day we went to Sea World because he was fever free! It was a birthday miracle. He couldn't wait to get there so he could spend the birthday money my parents gave him on this huge Shamu he has had his eye on for the last three years. He was so excited to finally get it. He kept asking us when he could go shopping! First time I've ever heard those words from the boy. He bought his beloved whale and named him Biggy. Then he bought Emma Mae a dolphin so she wouldn't feel left out. Sweet boy!

Elfis

Our little elf on the shelf, Elfis, came back right after Thanksgiving! The kids love waking up to see if he has moved from the day before. Sometimes he doesn't move because he's just too tired or he hasn't seen enough good behavior to report back to Santa.

Last night it looks like he got into some trouble though. Maybe he was bored. Maybe he was feeling a little blue. Or maybe he just wanted some chocolate. Who knows?

At this point I'm just trying to remember what we've done for the last two weeks. I know we had Thanksgiving. It was nice. My sister invited everyone to her house for the big turkey dinner. So I didn't have to cook. And she sent home a lot of leftovers with us so even better.

We made our own turkey dinner a few days later when the leftovers were all gone. I made a fudge caramel pecan pie that may have changed my life forever. It was that good. I'm thankful for all of my family and I'm thankful for pie.

I took Emma Mae to the grocery store last week and had to endure the humiliation of a three year old screaming at me at the top of her lungs that she wasn't going to like me anymore if I didn't buy her a donut. So I told her that she wasn't getting a donut ever again if she didn't learn how to act nicely. And she screamed at me that she would be nice just as soon as I gave her a donut. So then I learned to never try to have a rational discussion with a three year old in the throes of a temper tantrum.

We had a great time the other night trying to teach Jake some jokes. I pulled out my all time favorite. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. Get it? Seven ATE nine. Hilarious. So then he asked the all time classic why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of course. Only then Emma Mae said in a very concerned voice "well that chicken might get runneded over!" Good point.

The kids have had the best time playing on their power wheels truck. It will be a shame if someone ever builds a house on the lot next door to us because then we will lose our dirt field and the kids will have to drive the truck on the street. Tonight we had several neighborhood kids come over to ride with them. Jake and Emma were so proud of that truck and that so many people were over to play. And I got to visit with some grown ups for a change. I'm thankful for small town suburbia.

And finally, I think I have come to terms with the fact that our first born will be turning six years old in two weeks. Crazy. He decided to forgo a big birthday party for a family trip to Sea World. I'm thankful for that boy and his five and three quarters self!

Thankfulness continued

Soo thankful that is all the hair she managed to cut off in her first attempt at cutting her own hair. Unfortunately, it came right off the top on the middle of her head so she looks a bit like Steve Perry at the height of his career in Journey during the 80's.

I am thankful for the little boy at the park the other day who looked at Emma Mae and said "you talk a lot!" It's just good sometimes to have unbiased outside confirmation of something I already highly suspected.

Thankful for my job where I can bring the Kindergartener to work with me when he has a day off from school and I don't. And for my boss who showed us this wonderful idea for a Thanksgiving tree and even supplied us with the materials to create one of our own! I'm also thankful for the beautiful words of Ann Voskamp whose book "one thousand gifts" could change the world.

And I am very thankful that my dog Brady (the bus) is not dying. Mike found a huge mass on Brady's side last week and after a trip to the vet today it looks to be just a fatty tumor. Which is gross but not life threatening. Who knew I wanted that dog to live so badly?? We're still not sure if we want to get the thing removed  enough to spend hundreds of dollars to have it cut out. But we're thankful we don't have to make that decision right away!

Sick days

I've spent the last two days with sick children in the house. I know it sounds crazy but sometimes I'm thankful for sick days. Jake came down with pink eye Tuesday night so he stayed home from school Wednesday and Thursday. And them Emma Mae woke me up at 11:45 Wednesday night because she threw up all over her bed. So we pretty much spent yesterday watching movies, cuddling on the couch, playing games and maybe we let them play outside on their new truck with the neighbors for a second. Anyhow-I got a lot of good cuddle time in but I was really hoping that Emma would be over the vomit today. Because I am definitely over the vomit.

She seems to be doing better. She has managed to keep down all of her food today and we even got out and ran a few errands today. Because I remembered after I got Jake on the bus this morning that today was our day to take snack to his class. So Em and I headed out to WalMart to buy something quick and the whole time I was praying "please don't  puke in the car, don't puke in the car."

And she didn't! We came home and I made lunch. I put her sandwich on the table and then got distracted and looked out the kitchen window. That's when I saw our neighbors two cute labs walking down the street. I knew the neighbors were at work and I was pretty sure the dogs were not supposed to be out. So I went outside and called them over and brought them to our backyard. I saw the animal control truck patroling our neighborhood this morning so I didn't want the dogs to be found and jailed.

Anyhow, I let Brady out to play with them and called the neighbors who asked if I could keep the dogs in the backyard until one of them could get off work and come pick them up. I said sure. I would want the same thing if someone found Brady wandering around town. I sat down and ate my lunch while Emma played with the dogs outside. Then she came in to give me a dog report and eat two bites of her sandwich.

A few minutes later I went outside to check on the dogs. The only problem was that the only dog left in the backyard was mine. The two labs were missing. Under my watch. I was mortified. It seems they busted through a small hole in our fence and took off. So I looked out the kitchen window. And there they were walking down the same sidewalk again. So I went out and called them over again. And brought them inside the house this time. Before I knew it the black one had jumped up on the table and eaten the rest of Em's turkey sandwich and the brown one was in the bathroom drinking water out of the toilet. Listen, I can't even guarantee that the toilet had been flushed yet. I kept having flashbacks to the movie "The Christmas Story" and those Bumpus dogs that caused such havoc in the house on Christmas!

The next thing I know Emma Mae is yelling something about the yellow dog making a mess all over the floor. So I looked over just in time to see a pool of brown liquid about the size of the smallest great lake making its way toward the only rug in our house. Too late, I found a towel and spread it over the mess. That rug may never be the same. In fact, I may never be the same. My stomach is still clenching up involuntarily. And I'll be really thankful when these sweet puppies go on home.

Power Wheels

Today I am thankful for my friends who give us the clothes and toys that their own kids have outgrown. Especially when the toy is something I wanted to get the kids for Christmas but couldn't justify the money! And I'm also thankful that our kids are still young enough to love hand me downs!
And one more thing-thankful that Emma Mae didn't kill anyone or damage anything when it was her turn to do the driving.

Friends

I am thankful for my girlfriends. Especially this gal. We've known each other since the fifth grade and have been BFF's for most of that time. Countless hours on the phone, mutual boy crushes and lots and lots of laughter have built a solid friendship that I can count on forever. Love you Amy Sue!

On a side note, she is aging much more gracefully than I am. Not that I'm bitter. Try not to look at my neck in this picture. It looks like all I do is work out my neck muscles or something. It looks like my neck is about to pop my head off of my body. We must have taken ten pictures of ourselves trying to get one that we were both satisfied with. It led to much giggling and pandemonium. Amy was woried about her head being too big and I just kept thinking "how much could plastic surgery possibly cost?" These bags under my eyes need to take a trip already.  

Veterans, puppies and blankies

I am thankful that I got to go to Jake's first school performance tonight! And I am truly, deeply thankful that it is over. We got a notice a couple weeks ago that Kindergarten would be having a special Veteran's Day special tonight. Jake has been practicing his songs at home and I was really excited to see them perform. Especially since he kept singing a line about "holding puppies in our hands" and I just really thought he had some lyrics down wrong. I went through all of the songs I know about America and couldn't think of one that talked about puppies. I knew they were singing "God Bless America" and "Grand Old Flag" and "This Land is Your Land" and Jake was having trouble with some of the words in those songs so I figured "holding puppies in our hands" was really supposed to be something else too even though he assured me he had the words down right.

I also thought it would be neat for Mike to go since he is an actual Veteran. However, he had to work and couldn't make it. Jake's teacher even asked Mike if he would speak about being a Marine because their other guest speaker fell through. That would have just sent Jake over the moon. But, it didn't work out and then I realized that I would have to attend with Emma Mae in tow without my backup parent.

And Emma Mae did not take a nap today. I repeat. She did not nap.

The show started at 6:30 and they wanted the kids there by 6:15. So we showed up at 6:10 because Jake's teacher told us that the cafeteria would fill up quickly. There was a line to get into the school when we arrived. Turns out the first grade and fifth grade were also performing in one way or another. We finally got Jake to his class and headed to the cafeteria. There was not a seat to be had. Well, there actually were several empty chairs but people were "saving" them for friends and relatives. I'm gonna go ahead and call that crappy. I'm sorry if you have people who want to be there but haven't yet arrived. I'm here. I'm on time. I have a three year old girl wearing pink cowgirl boots on my hip. Let me have a chair please.

Actually, I think every Veteran in attendance should have been offerred a chair up front. And then every Kindergarten parent should have had next dibs. All the other riff raff could have stood up in the back. This wasn't their first rodeo.

I finally found a spot along a side wall for Emma Mae and I to stand. Now, listen. I talked with Emma in depth before hand about expected behavior. I told her that once the performance started she was to be still and quiet. I bribed her with treats. I told her she could have candy or ice cream or candy covered ice cream if she behaved herself. Then I asked her if she understood and she said yes. Then I asked her to repeat my words and she did.

We had ten minutes to kill before the kids came out to sing. Emma spent that time spinning around in circles, crawling all over the floor and generally being a nuisance to everyone around us. I reminded her of our deal and told her the treat was off if she didn't get quiet and still when the singing started. T-minus two minutes to performance she told me that she needed to go potty. Now, listen. This is Emma Mae's go to "get out of jail free" card. She plays it all the time when she wants to leave somewhere she's not having fun at. Like, every morning meeting I go to at work. So I knew she didn't really need to go. I also knew if we left our spot to go to the bathroom we probably wouldn't even get back into the cafeteria. So, I wasn't moving. It's not fun when your child tells you that she'll just go potty all over you instead. And your fellow student parents stacked up beside you like sardines in the cafeteria over hear that. Still, I held firm.

Finally, the kindergarten classes came out. I thought this would calm down little sis. Unfortunately, we could barely see Jake so Emma just decided to entertain herself. First thing she did was take off her cowgirl boots and start sliding all over the floor saying "yipee!" I decided to ignore her. And maybe pretend I didn't know whose kid she was. Kindergarten started singing. I busied myself trying to pick my little ant out of the crowd so I could videotape him. Then I noticed that a few parents were starting to stare down towards my feet. Where Emma Mae had pulled her pants up above her knees and was spinning around in circles on her booty again. I should mention that she colored all over her legs this morning with black dry erase marker and I hadn't bothered washing it off yet because hello! her pants covered it up. Oh, she had also taken my lipstick out of my purse and applied it liberally.

Kindergarten sang another song. A song about holding puppies in their hands! Then  fifth grade started reading essays to the veterans. This is when Emma started shouting "hey! where's Jake? JAKE! Get up and dance Jake! Why aren't you singing??" I chose this time to take her out into the hallway and threaten her very way of life. I told her that the treat wasn't happening and that if she didn't get quiet for the rest of the evening I would have to take away her beloved polka dot blankie when we got home.

Well, she didn't get any better. When one of the kids announced we were going to have a moment of silence to honor the veterans I was afraid I might cry. I just prayed it would really be a moment and not a full minute or anything. Oddly enough, Emma Mae was quiet during this time. It's because she is so respectful. The one good thing about our evening is that she didn't actually pee on me. So when we got home and got out of the car I told her to bring me her blankie because she wouldn't be seeing it for 24 hours. And that's when she decided to stand in the middle of our front yard and scream "YOU ARE NOT THE NICEST MOMMY ANYMORE! AND I DON'T LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE MEAN. AND THAT IS MY PROPOSITION!"

It was great. Although I was pretty impressed that she used the word proposition in a sentence. Even if it didn't really make sense. So I finally got her inside and took a look at my precious son. Who was doing all the right things. So I told him how proud I was of him and how I loved the way he sang those songs tonight. And he looked at me and he said "did you hear the part about having puppies in our hands?" And I said yes. And he said "so that means I was right and you were wrong."

Little Em

Thankful for my girl's creative spirit. Unbeknownst to us she built herself a cage of some sort for her and her animals to sleep in tonight. I would be even more thankful if she was wearing some pj's!