Oh no she didn't

Most nights at dinner we have family prayer. The kids always want to say the prayer themselves. Last night, it was Emma Mae's turn. She usually says a standard "thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus for our food, for our food and our many blessings and our many blessings. amen, amen." It's a song they learn at mother's day out. And I love it. But I do dream about the day when they begin praying from their own heart. Well, last night was it.

She started out saying "God, I love you so much." (Precious.) Then she said "please help all of the people" (good girl, good sweet, loving girl) "by giving them more money. amen" (she wants people to have enough money to buy food, she is a kind, thoughtful, beautiful girl).

Needless to say, I praised her efforts. I told her how wonderful I thought it was that she wanted God to help people have the things they need. And she told me "yeah, I just really want God to give you more money so you can send me to dance class." "Because I need to learn how to twirl." Way to bring it on back to yourself little girl. Way to do that. Note to self: Remember to talk about selflessness with offspring. Also, stop discussing financial situation in front of the small ones.

Let's move on to this afternoon. I took Emma Mae to the post office to mail some stuff. Super exciting. But across the street from the post office is Cabela's. Sister really wanted to go over there to see the animals that adorn that store (otherwise known as the wall of death by some of our friends.) So we went. We were having a delightful time actually right up until Emma walked straight up to a larger man standing around looking at fishing poles. And she pointed her little finger right at him. And she said in her loudest voice ever "now, THAT's a fat man." Ya'll. I pushed her into the small aquarium at Cabela's and said "Oh! Look at the fish Emma!" Then when we were far enough away from the man I had a discussion with her about kindness and things that we shouldn't say out loud. It seems my work here is never done. And I think I will be cancelling all future public appearances by Emma Mae until further notice.

Bored games

Today has been cold and rainy. So we couldn't get out to play. Instead, we spent a couple hours playing board games. Oh. My. Word. Have you ever tried to play games with rules with a six year old and a three and three quarters year old? Who knew Chutes and Ladders would be so stressful. I've determined that both of our children have an unhealthy desire to win all the time. And that if there is even the slightest possibility that Jake isn't going to win something he will give up. And then he will declare that thing to be boring. I gave many inspirational character building talks/speeches/sermons today. Then I noticed that it had no effect whatsoever on the offspring. So I gave up.

Where is Harry Potter when I need him?

Emma Mae will turn 4 years old next month. We've always just given her a small family/close friend of the family birthday party. So this year I decided she could have a bigger party and invite whoever she wanted to. She is very excited. After much deliberation we have settled on a My Little Pony theme. Which is way less scary than the Jack Frost theme she wanted last week. I was not relishing the thought of making ice sculptures and painting all the children's hair white.

A few days ago I did what all good mommies who are planning birthday parties do nowadays. I got on Pinterest. And I actually found several cute ideas for the party. Everything from My Little Pony cake ideas to party favors and games. One mama even hired a magician for her kids party because in My Little Pony land "friendship is magic!"

My first thought for entertainment was to rent a bouncy house. Then I did some research and found that the smallest one I could rent would cost $125. That is ridonkulous. I could take 10 of her friends to a bouncy house for the afternoon for cheaper than that.

Then I started thinking about this magician idea. It was fabulous! We could hire a magician to come and entertain the kids and then all I would have to do is give them a piece of cake on their way out the door. So today I did some research on magicians. Now, I'm sure magicians are lovely people. But all of the pictures I looked at made these guys seem slightly creepy. Plus, their names were weird. There was Magic by Carlos whose website claimed that he had been doing magic for a long time. No offense, but I've been singing for a long time but it doesn't mean I'm good at it. The second guy was, well I don't remember his name now, but it had an MD. after it. Which they proudly stated stood for Magic Dude. He also claimed to have been voted Austin's best magician for 2013. Uh, excuse me? We are only five weeks into 2013. You must be pretty confident in yourself. I'm gonna go ahead and vote myself "mother of the year 2013" for the entire world.

Then I actually phoned a third person. He had a lot of good reviews, looked more normal than creepy and seemed to be the best choice. He was very nice and upbeat on the phone. He told me that he would perform for a group of 4 year olds from 45 minutes to 1 hour. He could also juggle, dance and throw machetes.?!? All for $225. And that was a discounted price for booking in February. He could bring in a balloon artist to make animals out of balloons for an extra $125. Sooo, yeah. We will not be having a magician at Emma Mae's birthday party this year. Unless Mike can go on YouTube and learn some tricks ASAP. I'll even buy you your own cape honey! We can call you Magic Mike. Oh wait, I think that name's already taken.

Instead I'm trying to figure out some different ideas. Like how to make magic wands for the kids to play with. I think we'll have a mani/pedi station set up and bedazzle the kiddos with sparkly polish so they can look like their favorite pony. Maybe some tattoes. And I might have to spring for the pink hair paint Emma wants to put in her hair to look like Pinky Pie. Still a lot cheaper than a bounce house or a creepy magician. Oh, I know! We'll tell the kids that Brady's a horse and offer pony rides! For $1! I'll make money off of this party yet.

Meanwhile, at Little Mama

1.) I'm a little behind here at Little Mama. Like that's never happened before! We finished up my birthday week with a lunch date at Chuy's with two of my friends and breakfast donuts from Gordoughs last Sunday morning that put our entire family into some sort of sugar induced coma for the rest of the day. They were delicious. But big. And heavy. And delicious. I took a picture of them on my phone but I have no idea how to get that from the phone to the computer. It seems like it should be easy, but turns out that it is impossible for me.

2.) I did the unthinkable Sunday night after the morning sugar indulgence. I cancelled a babysitter Mike had set up so we could go out and have dinner. Isn't that crazy? I just wasn't feeling it. I think by that point I was officially over my birthday. So we ordered a pizza from the Italian place we were going to go to and ate it at home with the kids. And it was perfect.

3.) After Sunday school last week Emma Mae informed me that Jesus loves popcorn. I was curious about this information. So I asked her how she knew that Jesus loved popcorn. And she told me her Sunday school story for the day. It seems there were some bad people who were going to do bad things to Jesus. So Jesus made popcorn and invited some animals to come over and they had a party instead. Now, I am not familiar with this particular Bible story. But I would like to read it so if you know where in the Bible this comes from please let me know.

4.) Jake had his well child check up last week. In the last year he has put on 2 whole pounds and grown 2 inches. We were really hoping he would be 40 pounds this year so we could legally put him in a booster seat. But alas, the scale only said 38. However, his doctor said we could go ahead and get him in a booster seat as long as it had the five point harness system instead of using a seat belt. So basically, I researched booster seats, agonized over the decision and ordered him one yesterday. Now, I have to convince him that it really is a step up from his "baby seat" even though it looks very similiar.

5.) I also asked the Dr. to do a vision screening test on Jake. With Mike and I as his parents it would be a miracle if this child doesn't need glasses at some point. Well, one eye passed. But the other eye failed. So, it looks like we'll be seeking out a good children's eye doctor sometime soon.

Gratitude Journal

 

I am thankful for two little kids who love each other. To pieces. For squeals of laughter bouncing off our walls.

 

I am thankful that he will still be cute even if he has to get glasses someday. Which is highly probable. Even if they are big, round, yellow Harry Potter glasses.

 

I am so thankful for food. Especially steaming hot chocolate chip pancakes.

 

Happy Birthday to me!

Today I turned 43. That sounds old. Thank you to all my friends and family for the birthday wishes! Although my sweet hubby had to go to school and work he did manage to make the day special while he was here. He brought me my favorite store bought chocolate cake with white buttercream frosting because one of my love languages is cake. I even got to open up presents! I can't wait to get started canning with all of my new supplies. I'm hoping the rest of the day will be filled with the happy sounds of two kiddos getting along and absolutely no whining allowed.

One tutu, two tutu, black tutu, pink tutu

When will this child begin to smile naturally for a camera again? Anyhow, you know what's better than one princess skirt? Two princess skirts!

A list of five

1.) I think I've discussed the weight issues of our favorite canine around here. The last time we took him to the vet she strongly urged us to stop giving him treats and scraps unless it was carrots or green beans. She also told me to cut back on the amount of food I give him every day. So we did. For the most part. He really does not like carrots. But he's ok with green beans. Anyway, this dog acts like he is starving all of the time. He follows me around giving me the sad eyes or he just lays around looking depressed. He also steals food off of the kids plates whenever he can. So today we took him back to the vet to weigh him and see if we were feeding him responsibly or slowly starving him to death. And good news! He has lost 4 pounds! And we're feeding him the right amount of food but his stomach just doesn't know it yet. I will say he seemed a bit smug when I told him that he now weighs a pound less than me. But he still turned down my offer of a carrot at snack time.

2.) Mike and I tried to give up wheat for a week for a New Year's torture resolution. I lasted exactly twelve hours. Oh carbs, it is so hard for me to quit you!

3.) This actually happened a couple weeks ago but it is too good not to share. So, Jake woke up one morning and came to give me a hug. But first, he looked me in the eye and said "mama, there's something i just have to tell you." So I said, "okay." And he said, "last night I woke up and I could NOT stop thinking about the candy in my room. So I just got out of bed, got a piece of candy, and ate it right up. I know it was wrong and I'm so sorry that I did that." And I was like, "what's wrong with that?" The boy is so my son.

4.) Yesterday Emma Mae and I got to have lunch with one of my most favorite people on planet Earth. It was mine and Amy's annual birthday get together. I guess most people have birthdays annually. She was nice enough to treat me to a wonderful cheeseburger and fries. And I was nice enough to keep her company I guess. Aquarians rock! Love my Amy. If I was Amy Poehler, she would be my Tina Fey.

5.) Tonight was kind of a hard night. The kids got that thing going where they couldn't possibly clean up their mess from the day. Then when I told them that I would be happy to pick up the toys but that I would keep them for myself they went berserk. There was much crying and sadness. And that was just from me. Anyhow, there is nothing quite so disheartening after a long day of washing dishes (remind me to tell you about that later), doing laundry and encouraging your offspring to pick up every single last toy they got out during the day than to hear a gross noise from the cat. A noise that tells you as you rub the back of the last child waking that kitty has just thrown up all over the kitchen floor. Twice. Thank you and good night.

She's a little runaway

 

 

Isn't he cute? This was taken right before he started marching through the house chanting "mama is a poo poo!" Then after about five minutes of that he said "mama, can you guess what I'm saying right now?" And I was like "um, that mama is a poo poo?" And he said "you just said mama is a poo poo!" It was hilarious. Then Emma Mae looked at me and said "you are not a poo poo mom. you are just a mom and a human." And my self esteem was re-established.

Then the kids took a bath. And when they got out and got their pj's on I told Emma Mae that she needed to pick up all of her toys that were strewn about the house before she could do anything else with her evening. She did not like that one bit. Even though that is our nightly routine around here. She's used to it. But tonight it was just too hard! The toys were too big! Her hands couldn't carry things! And then her legs gave out so all she could do was slide around on the floor.

I knew she was tired so I told her that if she really had no use of her body then she should just go get in bed and I would pick up her toys for her. That caused another melt down because she was afraid I would pick up her toys and take them to the nearest trash can. So then she refused to go to her room which to me is like drawing a line in the sand. Emma sometimes needs to have her will broken. Or else I'm afraid we might end up seeing her someday on an episode of "girls gone wild." To me this was an obedience issue. First, she didn't obey when I told her to pick up her toys. Then she didn't obey again when she refused to go to her room to get in bed. Not obeying is an issue of the heart which I can't ignore.

So began the battle of the wills 2013. I carried little miss to her room and put her in bed with instructions not to get out until morning. She immediately jumped out of the bed and ran out in the hallway screaming that she didn't like me anymore. Shocker! Then she told me that I was not her mommy anymore. That kind of hurt. Then she told me that she was going to find a new home to live in. Really? Then she said that yes, she was going to run away to a different home! That's what she would do. So I remembered a story my sister tells about my niece trying to run away from home at age 4 and I  said "okay." Then she just looked at me. Then she said "mama! I am going to go run away to a different home. and live there forever!" So I said "okay, go ahead and go." Then she said "well how am I supposed to get to another home!?" So I said "I don't know Emma. You're the one running away. You need to work out the details." Then she said "well, if I go away from here you will not survive!" So I tried not to laugh. Then she said it again. "mama! do you hear me? if I leave here you will not survive without me!"

Then we had a stare down in the hallway. I think I heard the theme song from Gun Smoke somewhere in the background. And after a few minutes she said to me "mama! i want your job. I just want to do your job." So I said "baby, I'm the mama, you don't have to be in charge yet." Trust me. I was the youngest kid in our family. I got bossed around all over the place. I've waited a long time to be the one in charge and I'm not about to let a three and a half year old steal my thunder now. So then she came and sat in my lap and calmed down enough for me to put her in bed. Then Jake came and sat in my lap and told me how sorry he was for "being bad" today. So I kissed him and told him that he was a poo poo.

Reindeer games

Today I asked Emma to tell me about her favorite party of the school day. It was playing in the gym. Funny thing is a teacher from a different class happened to be in the gym when Em's class was there and came to tell me about it. Seems little miss Em spent the entire gym time telling everyone what to do and basically trying to keep the little boys in line. This teacher was cracking up because she didn't realize how verbal miss thing has become. She has really come out of her shell the past year.

Emma also told me about her least favorite part of the day. No one would let her sing Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. She was very sad. So I asked her when she was trying to sing Rudolph and she said during rest time. So I told her that during rest time she needs to be quiet so everyone can sleep. It is not the time to be singing Rudolph. So then she told me that those other kids were making all this loud noise and they were not letting her focus on going to sleep. So instead she wanted to sing. Such is life.

Emma Mae got two toys for Christmas that she just loves. Well, she got a lot of things for Christmas that she loves but these two things are tops right now. First, she got a new tea set. She's never had one and she was so excited to get it. If we've had one tea party since Christmas we've had a hundred. They are always very involved with details that crack me up. Like using her blankets as a table cloth, using paper towels as napkins, and most importantly just obeying every command that Emma gives during the party. She is very bossy.

 

 

The second thing is her Doc McStuffins doctor kit. Today she gave me a shot in the ear. Let's hope she doesn't become a real doctor someday because she seems to enjoy a little bit of the torture.

If you give a mama some freedom

This morning Mike kicked me out of the house so I could get another break from the kids. !! You know what?

If you give a mama some time off she's gonna take it. She'll get in her car and drive to Kohl's. She'll be looking for the perfect pair of warm fleecy boots to wear but she'll get distracted by the cute little girls clothes. The little girl clothes will remind her that she has a little girl. So she'll buy some.

Then she'll drive on over to Target. She'll have flashbacks from her post traumatic stress disorder caused by previous trips to Target with the offspring. So she'll make a stop at the Starbucks inside Target to caffeinate and soothe her nerves. I know that sounds counter productive but this is my story okay?

Then she'll trot over to the shoe department to look for those warm fleecy boots again. She'll try on a pair of size 6 tan fleecy boots that are a bit too small. Then she'll try on a pair of size 7 purple fleecy boots that are a bit too big. Then she'll wonder why Target doesn't carry half sizes. Then she'll try on the size 6 and the size 7 again. Then she'll spend the next ten minutes staring at the shelves lamenting the fact that there are no half sizes. Then she'll give up on the boots.

She'll walk past the children's clothes where boys jeans are on sale and she'll remember that she has a boy at home. So she'll buy some. Then she'll see a dead cricket on the floor. Which reminds her that she also has a lizard at home. So she'll drive over to the pet store to buy some crickets.

Then she'll get a call from her hubby asking her where the recipe for the beef and broccoli is at. Which reminds her that it is almost lunch time. So she'll drive home.

Then she'll walk in the house where she sees the children she escaped from for 2 1/2 hours. And they'll squeal and run over to her calling "MAMA!" Then they'll throw their arms around her for a big bear hug. And you know what? If you give a mama a bear hug she's gonna take it.

And after all of that my friend Leslie called to see if it would be a good time to come over. So she and her son came over and spent a couple hours with us. It was so nice! Leslie got to receive several medical check ups from Emma Mae with her new Doc McStuffins doctor kit. We also had a tea party with lots of rules. We had to sit on a pillow. Leslie and I had to wear a necklace. Emma was only serving ordinary plain tea. No flavors. I was so stressed out from all of Emma's orders that I needed a little something slipped in with my tea if you know what I mean. Anyhow, great day and I am still ready to get back to school on Monday.

2013

Hello to another year! Is anyone else out there ready for their children to go back to school? We have had a great Christmas break with much family time. The weather finally turned cold so it feels like winter. But, that also means that the kids can't go out to play and are therefore completely off their rockers. This past week has been spent trying to get them out of the house to get the wiggles out.

We spent the first day of the new year eating way too much food and then decided to take the kids to see a movie. In an actual movie theater. This was only Emma Mae's second time to be allowed in a theater because the first time we took her to one I spent the entire movie in the bathroom and walking around outside with her and her cousins. She did much better this time. We saw Rise of the Guardians and both kids loved it.

On Wednesday I pulled out some coupons and we took the kids to Austin to the children's museum. It was our first trip to this museum also. I've always wanted to take them but have heard from friends how crowded it is. That is no lie. I'm sure it didn't help that school is out and it is too cold to do anything fun outside but we joined half of the population of Austin at the museum that day. Still, it was a really cool place and the kids enjoyed themselves.

On Thursday I took the kids to the pet store to buy a few things and look at animals. Then we went over to Target because that is what we do. Emma Mae had a complete melt down in the check out line. So much so that I had to toss her in the back of the shopping cart to contain her. Which made her really really mad. So mad that she kicked and screamed and yelled loudly enough for all of Target to hear that she "DID NOT WANT TO RIDE IN THE CART!" Also, when I picked her up to put her in the cart she started screaming "OWIE, OWIE, OWIE! YOU HURT MY ARM! I SAID YOU HURT MY ARM MAMA! MAMA? MAMA! I SAID YOU HURT MY ARM MAMA!" It was a fine moment. She was still screaming in the parking lot on our way out to the car and an older gentleman was behind us. He was trying to be cute or funny or I don't know what he was trying to be when he said "well, I guess we'll be telling daddy about this when he gets home tonight won't we?" And you know what? I did tell Mike about it when he got home at 10:30 because I was still mad.

So today, my wonderful hubby declared it "daddy and kiddo day" and he took our beloved progeny out of our house at 9:30 this morning and did not return them until almost 2pm. It was a much needed break. I managed to go through both kids rooms and the playroom and throw away a bunch of junk and collected a boxful of toys they don't use anymore. Everything is organized and that makes me happy. We ended the day with some pizza and a movie. I love those kiddos but I am ready for all of us to get back to more of a routine on Monday.

Goodbye 2012

Ugh. I've gotten so bad about updating the blog. I think I'll mainly post pictures to fill you in on the end of 2012. Happy New Year! Trail of lights in smalltown, USA. My photo. skills are amazing.

 

Christmas Eve 2012. We left out mint chocolate brownie bites for Santa this year instead of cookies.

 

 

 

New recipe this Christmas was buttermilk cranberry breakfast cake. Must have Christmas recipe is my mama's cheerio pie.

 

 

I took the kids to my parents house the day after Christmas. Cheryl and her family came too. Amarillo had a white Christmas this year so my dad and Tom and Katie helped the kids make snowmen. Then Katie showed them how to dye your snowman with food coloring.