Toy Story

Let me start off this post by saying that we have way too many toys in our house. It's almost embarrassing to me that we have allowed our kids to live in such excess. They just build up until you have this mountain of toys that could never be fully played with. Birthdays and Christmas's come and go and the toys march on.

With that being said, I find myself laughing daily about the sad state of affairs I find some of these toys in. I wonder how happy they are living with us. Take Dora for instance:


Dora. What's up girl? Bad hair day? You look like you could use a trip to the spa. Come to think of it, you look a lot like me. Maybe we should go together.



I found these two horses on a little ledge inside Jake's closet. Maybe they're in time out.


These pool toys were in our pantry hanging out with the cookbooks.


Spiderman hangs out on our back door more often than not.


I like how orderly these toys are. Nice row formation and grouping of like kinds. Toy segregation anyone?


I found this on the kitchen table when I got out of the shower a few days ago. Interesting. I wonder if this is how all those Easter Island statues got built. Some mama's left their kids alone for an hour while they bathed in a nearby stream and BAM! They come back and find weird stone statues all over the place.


I don't even want to think about what this guy did to get hanged from the mini blinds. Bad elephant!


This is what I found in the kids sink last night. They built a water zoo. Otherwise known as an aquarium. Unfortunately, there was a little bitty dolphin in there somewhere that I didn't see and when I let the water out to drain it slid down the drain never to be seen or heard from again. It was tragic. I'm not sure if Jake will ever forgive me. I might have to help him punish some of his bad toys to get back in his good graces.

One wedding and two funerals

The kids have been talking a lot lately about the fact that some day Mike and I are going to be dead. They are very matter of fact about this. They don't seem terribly upset about it although they do say they will both be sad when we die. Which is comforting I guess. Neither one of us is knocking at heaven's door just yet so I'm not sure where this conversation is coming from. I just try to be very matter of fact about it and agree with them that yes, everyone dies someday. I also tell them that when we die we get to go see Jesus in heaven and they think that's pretty cool.

A few days ago we were over at a neighbors house playing when Jake looked at the mama over there and said "my mom and dad are gonna die someday." She was all "oh, okay." Are they overly concerned with death at five and two? I vividly remember being scared of my parents dying when I was in elementary school. My mom and dad were about ten years older than most of my friends parents and I guess I thought that meant they might not be long for the earth. I prayed for God to let them live until I got out of high school at least. Don't worry, they are both doing fine all these years later. But I do remember it being a legitimate concern of mine. Could I have passed this morbid line of thought down to my own children? After all, my mama and I were both 39 when we had our last child. How do you handle your children's questions about death? Or am I the only one whose kids think about it?

At this very moment they are watching Bambi for the first time. Perhaps that wasn't the best choice of things to do this morning. Should make for some interesting conversation later. On the bright side when I tell them that mommy and daddy shouldn't be dying anytime soon, Jake brings up the point that even if we don't die he and Emma will be leaving home in a few years leaving me and Mike alone and sad. So, that's cheerful.

Speaking of interesting conversations, Jake broke Emma's heart a couple days ago. He told her that he no longer wanted to marry her because she's his sister. While Emma was crying, I was praising God that we dodged that particular bullet. Then, Jake told Emma that he was going to marry his cousin Alia instead. I suggested he marry one of the girl's in his class at school but he wants to marry his cousin. Guess I should be thankful that at least he is stepping out to a further branch of our genetic tree. Maybe someday he'll climb off of our tree and marry some nice girl in another orchard.

I also suggested to Emma Mae that she marry her best buddy at school. His name is Bryson. She always talks about how wonderful and silly this kid is. But when I told her she should marry him she just looked at me and burst into tears. After further questioning, she told me she could not marry Bryson because he threw up in class one day. And she does NOT want to marry a boy who throws up. So, I'm glad that Emma Mae is already setting the bar pretty high for these boys. If you throw up, do not talk to my daughter.

It's a wonderful life

Friday night I was sitting on the couch reading my latest addiction (Game of Thrones) while Mike was cooking some of his amazing chilli for dinner. I looked up to see Jake lying on the floor contentedly playing his Leapster game and Emma Mae sitting on our ottoman looking at her own book. I was just amazed at how beautiful they are. Then Mike came over and sat down to play Angry Birds. And Brady came over to pant all over me.

You ever have one of those moments where the sunlight is hitting everything just right and everything is so achingly beautiful and the world just seems very clear and very, well, right? It was one of those moments. No one was talking to me or even paying attention to me (except the dog) but I just realized how in love I am with the whole lot of them. Three days later and I still remember it crystal clear. That is a feat for me! I wanted to get up and grab my camera to capture everyone the way they were in that moment. But I knew as soon as I moved the moment would be over. So I just looked and watched and tried my best to commit it to memory.

At the time, I had music playing in the background and it just happened to be one of my favorite songs. And it described the way I was feeling so perfectly. So lest I forget these wonderful feelings tomorrow when the kids spill water colors all over the carpet or eat crackers all over my clean floor or I find a doggy fur ball the size of a cat in the corner somewhere, let me quote Sir Elton John who said it so eloquently, "I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words. How wonderful life is while you're in the world."

Bones

I think I'm ready to talk about last Saturday now. It started off just like any other Saturday. The kids and I got out of bed, had breakfast and I let Jillian Michaels torture me in the form of her Yoga Meltdown video. Then I got the kids dressed and went to take a shower and get ready for the day. I was planning on taking the kids to a dinosaur park in the area that we had never been to before.

I actually made it through my entire shower before Emma Mae came screaming to me that Jake had hurt her. She was holding onto her left arm at the elbow and she was crying hysterically. Just like any other day around here. So, being the mother of the year 2012, I told her that she was okay and if she didn't stop crying then we wouldn't be able to go see the dinosaurs. I told her to go sit on the couch and try to calm down while I got dressed.

Well. She never did calm down. So I threatened her with a trip to the doctor instead of a trip to the dinosaurs. And lo and behold, my almost three year old looked at me and said "mama, I WANT to go to the doctor so he can make my boo boo feel better." So then I knew we really had a problem.

I loaded both kids up in the car and left for the nearest urgent care. The place we go is the best. We never have to wait and the staff is so nice and caring. So, if you have to go to urgent care I hope you can find one as good as ours.

We walked in with me holding Emma Mae who was still crying hysterically and Jake marched himself up to the reception desk and told the girl "hi, I'm Jake and this is my sister Emma. I pulled on her arm and hurt her." I was amazed. Who was this child acting so grown up and taking full responsibility for his actions?

Well. Long story short. Jake had pulled Emma by her hand and jerked her from a sitting position up to a standing position. Which dislocated her elbow. The way to fix a dislocated elbow in a two year old is just to straighten the arm out. So, that's what the doctor did. And Emma Mae did not like it. Then they took her back to do an x-ray just to be sure nothing else was going on. She was still crying and of course they made me hold her down cause I'm the mama and apparently that's in my contract somewhere. She was a little distraught on the first x-ray but completely hysterical on the second when the tech had to twist her thumb a little bit. So they sent us back to a room for a dose of codeine laced tylenol and waited ten minutes to take the second x-ray. Poor little Emma. I told her they had to do a second x-ray to make sure her arm was fixed and she said she wanted me to do it because that doctor was making her very angry. A little codeine and an orange popsicle later, the pain had subsided enough to take the second x-ray and determine everything was okay. As soon as Emma showed them she could use her arm they let us leave.

The kids promptly told me they still wanted to go see the dinosaurs. I took them because I thought they both deserved a treat after being so brave and responsible in the midst of adversity.

The dino park was so cool. Jake looked like he had died and gone to heaven. As soon as we walked into the place he ran up to this huge t-rex head, threw his arms around it and said "OH! I JUST LOVE YOU!" Have I told you he has a flair for the dramatic?





I was able to get my geek on and learn lots of useful facts about dinosaurs. Like this stegasaurus for instance. Scientists think that this was the dumbest dino ever. His brain was the size of a walnut. Too little to even control a body as big as he had. They had a bundle of nerves over a rear leg twenty times bigger than their brain to control movement. Weird. And cool. Come on, that's cool.



I'm sure this guy will be coming soon to a nightmare near you. Look at those claws. He looks fierce. But actually, scientists think they used those long claws to dig for insects. Wow. Um, excuse me mister dino? Maybe the reason your kind became extinct was because you didn't know how to use what your mama gave you.



We went from seeing Emma Mae's arm bones to digging for bones of some of the largest creatures to ever live all in one day. And after all that when I asked Emma what her favorite part of the day was she said "eating a popsicle!"

Frogger

This is my hubby's mistress. She's cute in a very green, boxy sort of way. I call her Frogger. She was a gift from my brother in law-I guess she used to be his mistress. So that's kind of weird.

Mike doesn't have a lot of free time but often times when he does he chooses to spend it with her. He tinkers. He gets his hands dirty. He whispers sweet nothings to her like "come on and start up baby!" She's been sitting in our garage for a year now. She wouldn't run. I think she was depressed.

Mike also doesn't have a lot of extra money but when he does get some he buys her parts instead of buying his wife baubles or bangles. I'm not the least bit bitter.

Well, today it all paid off for them. Mike finally got her running and before I knew it she had him and both my kids buckled up, driving off into the sunset. I was left standing in the driveway remembering the time when I had a family.

But then I looked down and realized that she was leaking some sort of fluid as she went. I knew they would have to come back. Seems she was leaking gas which can't be good. I felt kind of sorry for her. After all, since having the kids I've been known to leak a few liquids here and there as well. She looks old and run down. I look old and run down. She has holes in the interior. I have a bad back. I'm pretty sure at least one family of mice has taken up residence in there at one time or another and probably never even told her thank you. I decided a truce was in order. If they ever made it back to the driveway I would welcome them all with open, loving arms. And guess what? They're back.

oh, what a beautiful morning!

The kids and I had such a great day together today! Since that doesn't always happen I thought I should write it down. We started off the day with a half batch of some homemade whole wheat blueberry muffins. I love the Cookie Madness blog because not only does she always have yummy recipes posted, she often makes half batches in case you're not feeling like making a whole bunch of something.

After breakfast we went to the Y so I could inflict torture upon myself in the form of pilates. Emma Mae does not like going to the YMCA. She says the people in the nursery are scary and she throws a fit every time I drop her off. Of course, every time I pick her up she is totally having fun and smiling so I think it's all a ruse. The work out made me feel so good that I took the kids to the park afterwards to play. It was a gorgeous morning. We even made new friends with a neighbor and her cool Doberman pincher.

When we got home we ate lunch and played a card game together. Everything was going so well until Emma's naptime. She has become a bear at naptime. I would give it up completely except that she is a also a bear when she doesn't take a nap. It took me 30 minutes of laying in bed with her, rubbing her back while trying not to flip out everytime she kicked me or told me that "taking a nap is not my favorite mommy" before she finally sacked out for a couple hours.

Then instead of trying to clean or nap myself I spent the afternoon reading to Jake and just playing with him. So much fun! Too bad it doesn't happen more often around here. Love my kiddos and love the fact I get to stay home with them most of the time while they're little and don't think I'm embarrassing.

My core just isn't what it used to be

In an effort to get rid of a few pounds and some extra padding around the middle, Mike and I decided to join the YMCA last week. It didn't hurt that they had a special deal going on because we all know by now that I can't pass up a good deal. Running is out for me now because of all the stess it puts on my back and even my walking has been hit or miss lately because of the weather. The great thing about the Y is that they offer lots of different workout classes that I can go to and free childcare so I can go whenever I want. And we can always cancel if we don't feel we're getting enough bang for our buck.

Anyhow, I attended my first class last Saturday. I chose water aerobics. Specifically the "aqua burn" class. It sounded challenging yet like something that wouldn't aggravate my back. So I took my first water aerobics class with five of the nicest senior citizens in Buda, Tx. At first when I saw my fellow aerobicizers I thought that maybe I wouldn't go all out on my workout because I didn't want to put them to shame. Well. I shouldn't have even considered that. These people were lapping me in the pool. We would be running or frog hopping or riding a bike from one end of the pool to the next and I would always start out in the lead. Then before I knew it Richard, the Denises and Scottie would all be passing me up. I was humbled. When it came time for the water noodle workout I was a little stressed out. The instructor gave me a smaller noodle than everyone else and I still had a hard time with it. I could not keep that thing under the water to save my life. Finally, the instructor just looked at me and said "why don't you try this without the noodle for now honey?" Humiliating. However, the others were very understanding and kept trying to council me and tell me that I would get better with time. I honestly don't know if there will be a next time. I actually felt really good afterwards and my back was pain free so I may have to endure further humiliation and keep working out with the seniors.

I also went to a pilates class with people more my age that I loved. It was a great workout and I actually kept up with everyone. Can't wait to go back.

And go back I will because last Sunday the two sweet ladies I teach Sunday School with at church asked me if I was with child. Ya'll. I am not. Let me hand out some advice here that I can't believe I'm having to hand out. Never, and I mean never, ask a lady if she's pregnant. If you have to start out your sentence by saying "can I ask you something without hurting your feelings?" then don't ask it. Because chances are you are going to hurt that persons feelings. I think all three of us wanted to cry when I told them that I was not pregnant but apparently I looked like it in the dress I was wearing. So, hello YMCA! I'll be with you until I no longer appear to be preggo.

Monster juice

Okay, I've jumped on the green smoothie band wagon. And I really love them! I tried to get the kids to love them by calling it monster juice. They're not that impressed. Here's the recipe I use:

1 banana
1/2 cup of plain greek yogurt
2 cups spinach
3/4 cup milk
1 tablespoon peanut butter

Put everything in a blender and blend until smooth. Enjoy!

Lightning, leaks and loveys

So last Wed. morning as we were getting ready for school our house was struck by lightning. It was the loudest thing I've ever heard. The kids and I all started screaming. Above the screams, I realized that something down the hall was hissing at me. It was our AC/heater unit. I didn't smell gas coming from it but I did smell something weird and I was a little freaked out. So I called Mike. He told me to get the kids and get out of the house. So I did.

I took about five minutes to look around the house and decide what I should take out in case our world blew up that morning. I did get the kids-each with a coat and a pair of shoes on although Emma wasn't wearing any pants and it was cold outside. I grabbed Jake's crab and Emma's favorite blanky. I grabbed my rings and I stuffed my laptop into my new Vera Bradley purse. I grabbed the dog but couldn't find the cat. Didn't even think about the lizard. And then for some reason I grabbed Emma's half eaten cereal bar in case we needed to eat after the house blew up.

We left everything in the house exactly as it was and ran for the car. Then I drove down the street and parked so I could watch the house while I called the gas company. The emergency line. They told me someone would be right out. Then they told me to go back in the house and open all the doors and windows. Now, I didn't want to go back in, but I did. I was hoping I could find my cat while I was in there. No luck. She wouldn't come to me and she wasn't in any of her favorite hiding spots. I went back out to the car.

Almost an hour later, the gas guy still hadn't shown up and the kids were getting restless. They wanted to play a game on a device that was still in the house. I debated about two minutes then I ran back in the house to get it. And this time I also found my cat. Finally, we had everything we needed. I wouldn't have to watch our house blow up knowing my kitty was bbq. The lizard was a whole different story. Sorry Scratchy.

So, finally the gas company arrived and decided the house was safe. There was a leak but it wasn't natural gas. It turned out to be freon. We also had some electrical damage and the modem for our computer got fried. We were without internet for 24 hours. That was the longest 24 hours of my life. $400 later everything is repaired and we are back in business. Pretty eventful day after my birthday!


Nothing that a few cuddles from these two can't make better.


My parents came to see us that morning and took me out for dinner that night. These are the two sweetest parents anyone could ask for. Later, Jake was talking to my dad about the morning. He mentioned that I was "vewy cwanky to Emma" during the whole thing. Possibly because Emma decided to throw a fit about putting on her shoes during this whole escapade. She threw herself on the floor and said she couldn't put on her shoes and, in fact, she couldn't even stand up anymore. Because there is no better time to play control games with your mama then during a possible life changing disaster.

Brother/sister conversations

Actual conversation between Jake and Emma Mae coming home from school today. Neither one of our children choose to pronounce the "r" or "l" sound yet. So, I'm typing it the way they spoke it.

Emma: "Jake! I got hit two times today and I did not wike it!"

Jake: "Who hit you Emma?"

Emma: "Zachawy did." "Two times."

Jake: "Well, the next time Zachawy hits you just tell him that he's not being nice and you don't want him to hit you ever, ever, ever again! Tell him your friend Jake said so, and also I'm your brother. And then just tell him to go hit someone else."

Emma: long pause..."Jake! Zachawy can't hit other people either. That's not vewy nice."

Jake: "Emma, you wight. Just tell him to go hit himself next time."

Both kids laughing hysterically.

Jake: "Oh Emma! Tell him to hit himself. That's so funny!"

Emma: "you wight Jake! that is funny!"

Both kids spent the next five minutes laughing while hitting themselves on the head. Why can't I be so easily entertained?

42!

Wow. I'm gettin' on up there. Fairly certain I'm going to need bifocals this year too. Sheesh. But, I hear that you're only as old as you feel and most days I feel forty. Tops.


Some nice hubby bought me these pretty roses. He also gave me a nice card and he gave me a separate card from our offspring. On the front it has a mug shot of a cat with the words GUILTY and STALKING on it. Then you open it up and it says "May birthday happiness follow you everywhere...day and night...always there...every freakin' moment." Signed appropriately enough, Jake and Emma.

We started off the day with a trip to Starbucks because anyone who just turned 42 needs a good jolt of caffeine to get going. I bought the kids their very own hot chocolates which they took two sips of and then declared they were done. Oh, no you didn't. When somebody buys you Starbucks, you drink every single drop. They did eat their entire birthday donut with sprinkles though. And I ate every bit of my berry coffee cake and drank every drop of my FREE grande skinny vanilla latte. The skinny part is very important because even though it's my birthday, I'm not gonna go all crazy with calories. Until someone gives me cake.



Don't ask me why Jake has scissors.



I spent the rest of the morning doing laundry and cleaning the bathrooms. Looks like 42 is going to be just as glamorous as 41 was. At the beginning of the year I declared Tuesdays to be bathroom cleaning day. I wish I had had the foresight to look ahead and see what day my birthday fell on this year. I might have declared Thursday to be bathroom cleaning day instead.

By 1pm Emma Mae had approximately 32 emotional meltdowns and ended up having to go to time out. Which may be why Jake never busted out that chocolate cake he was talking up.

Mike had to go straight to school from work so my sweet friend Leslie insisted that I bring the kids over to her house for a home cooked meal. Thank you Leslie! She made yummy fudge pie for dessert.




Don't ask me why I look so surprised. We took fifty pictures before we came up with this one that's barely passable of me.

I got home from dinner and had these lovelies waiting for me on the doorstep. Thank you Papa and Sally!



And last but certainly not least, my sweet hubby brought home my favorite birthday cake for me after school-chocolate bakery cake with white buttercream frosting. And I don't feel at all guilty eating cake on top of pie. All in all I've had a great birthday. Thank you everyone!

the day before 42

Well, I had a relatively good last day of being 41. We went to school/work today and our kids were really good. Then we came home and Jake and Emma were really good. I made sure they both knew that tomorrow is my birthday because I want to make sure we have a good day tomorrow and a little prep never hurts anything. Jake was so sweet and told me the necklace he made for me at school today was actually my birthday present. I bet he was glad his teachers made him make a necklace this morning. He is totally covered now. He also told me that he wanted to buy me a birthday cake tomorrow. He even asked me what kind I want. Then he said "okay, mama. i'll buy you a cake as long as you're good and don't put us in time out." Note to self. Teach Jake about unconditional love and selfless giving.

For her part, Emma Mae promised not to have any emotional breakdowns tomorrow that might result in me yelling/screaming/having a rise in blood pressure or pulling my hair out. We'll see how that goes. When I tucked her in bed tonight she said "mama, I have some bad news." I was all "okay?" and she was all "i left a big mess in the playroom, i got a lot of toys in there." So, I told her that it was okay this one time. I think she was just wanting me to know about the mess tonight so I wouldn't see it first thing in the morning. Such a sweet girl!

Birthday week 2012

It's here! I declare my birthday week begun! I believe deep in my heart that everyone should celebrate their birthday for a full week. So I will be celebrating until midnight on Saturday. Well, who are we kidding? The odds of my being up at midnight on Saturday are non existent so let's just say 10pm Saturday is when birthday week ends for me.

I started things off with a bang today by making my new favorite breakfast-a poached egg and an english muffin with a nice hot cup of mocha cafe. Who is this person I've become? What happened to pancakes and pop tarts?

Then I hauled the kids off to church and afterwards I used my first birthday coupon of the week-a free small sandwich at Schlotsky's. Love it! I think Mike is going to make me watch football tonight which is not my wish really because the Cowboys aren't playing. However, I'm gonna let it slide because last night I made him watch New Moon with me. And that it two hours that we can never get back. Anyhow, let the birthday festivities begin!