I'm a little bugged

Yesterday as Jake and I were out playing in the backyard I saw the biggest ant of my entire life on my chair and freaked out just a little bit. If you've seen the new Indiana Jones movie then you know how big this ant was. The thing about Texas is we have lots of bugs here and they are BIG.

It totally made me flash back to my childhood and what I refer to as the "incident with the bee". One day riding home from school in my carpool I felt a strange vibration in my pants. Minds out of the gutter please. It was actually in the knee of my jeans. I was in third grade I think and I just remember being totally freaked out but I didn't want to say anything because someone other than my mom was driving me home and I didn't want to cause a scene. So I sort of swattted the area. Bad idea. The vibrations turned to pain. Blinding hot, white pain. The pain caused me to scream. The screaming caused my friend's mom to freak out and pull over. I jumped out of the car and a few minutes later we found a dead bumblebee at my feet and realized what had happened. I've always been told that a bee can only sting you once and then he dies. Well, I guess this bee had superpowers because he got me two or three times. My knee swelled up and there was much groaning and discomfort.

I still cannot fathom how that bee got in my pants. I know I was wearing those Luv It jeans that were so popular back then. Probably the ones with the lips on the back pocket. And I know they were tight because for some reason I wore my jeans entirely too tight as a child. I can tell you that on at least three occasions in elementary school I bent over only to hear the rip of the seam in the bottom of my pants. Apparently, I've always had a little extra junk in the trunk. Anyhoo, that gigantic bumblebee somehow crawled up the leg of my jeans and found he had to make his last stand right there because he could not possibly have been able to crawl back out of those tight jeans.

Lucky for the ant that it's way too hot in Texas right now for me to be wearing jeans outside. He just crawled right over my leg and went on his merry way.