As I sit here at my desk I am filled with anxiety and a really horrible feeling in the bottom of my stomach. You see tomorrow is our first born's first day of Kindergarten. Dramatic pause. Deep breaths.
This whole thing has really taken me by surprise. I never thought I would be one of "those" moms. You know the kind who cry and snivel and make a scene dropping their kids off for the first day of school? I mean really. This is a happy day! I always thought I would be the one with the big smile just cheering the child on to this new life adventure. And then I could go home and clean the house already.
But, I'm afraid I'm gonna cry. Big, ugly cry. And either scare Jake or embarrass the pants off of him. Is he too young to be embarrassed of me yet?
Thankfully, today in church I was gently reminded that not everything is about me.
And although I gave birth to this handsome boy child, his life is not my life. The song they played in church today says "turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace." It's time to dim my things on earth a little bit. It's time to pray that God will remove "me" from tomorrow morning and fill it up with Him and with Jake.
Speaking of Jake, he is sooo excited for Kindergarten. And he is ready to go. We went to the school Thursday night and met his teacher, Mrs. Ware. I had already heard from a neighbor of ours what a wonderful teacher Mrs. Ware is. She seems really nice and she is very pretty. I'm sure Jake will be crushing on her in no time. She also has three little boys of her own so I'm guessing she knows the mind of a boy. I will start praying for her now. I know having 22 five year olds coming to school for the first time is going to be hard on her. It's going to be hard on everyone. Not only will she have to deal with the kids, but she will have to deal with their mama's. I think all Kindergarten teachers should be required to have kids and send at least one away to kindergarten before they can teach that grade. It's the only way to understand the heart of that particular mama.
Dear Mrs. Ware,
I'm giving my boy over to you for seven hours a day five days a week. He will be spending more time with you and his classmates than he spends with me now. He's so little. Please be kind. But firm. You're gonna need to be firm. Here are some things you need to know about Jake:
1.) He's a dreamer. He spends more time in his imagination than he does in reality. I like this about him. Please don't kill it.
2.) He's loves animals-especially ocean animals. Please foster his interests.
3.) He loses focus easily unless actively engaged in something he enjoys. Please give him tools to do better.
4.) He is a superhero. Please help him to put away his super powers while at school but to know deep down that he still has them. Don't cut those spider webs just yet.
5.) He is sensitive. He may cry over something that nobody else would cry over. Please give him a quick hug and tell him to buck up.
6.) He is a leader. Watch how kids will follow him. Encourage that without giving him a big head.
7.) He is super fast. I'm sorry if he runs through the classroom with his new super fast tennis shoes on. Please make him stop, but maybe tell him that he'll probably be an Olympic runner someday.
8.) He is enthusiastic. Please teach him patience and humility without quenching his enthusiasm.
9.) He still says the "w" sound for most "l"s and "r"s. Please help him to learn to speak correctly even though a part of my mommy heart will break when he stops saying "I wuv you." And also, if anyone makes fun of the way he talks, go ahead and smack them upside the head.
10.) He is my heart. I don't know how it's going to feel to walk around every day with my heart outside of my body. Please protect him. But help him become independent. On the days you can't love him ask me why I love him. I'll fill you in on his good qualities. Please equip him to move on in life to first grade. I'll do my part here if you do your part there. Let's be partners. Oh and try to do the same for the other 21 kids in your class. (You seriously don't make enough money.)
This is such a lovely post. My son will be starting kindergarten after Labor Day, and I'm so sad--well, happy for him (like your son, mine is so excited!) and sad for me. I can't believe it's time for this already; he was just a baby yesterday! Thanks for this wonderful post. You've given me some things to think about, and maybe, just maybe, all of this overwhelming stuff will be easier for me to handle now.
ReplyDeleteLet us know how it goes. *hugs* Thinking of you.
Jake is going to have a wonderful year. And so will you. The time you get with Emma is going to be so special. THAT'S when you will really cry--when she goes to kindergarten. I'll be thinking about you and Jake tomorrow. HUGS.
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ReplyDeleteSo sweet! I remember those days when the little ones go off. I thought of Dana above, reading this, hoping she would see it...and she did. :-) You sweet mamas...what lucky boys you have!
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