I'm all out of lame post titles

Well, it's been forever since I wrote. I have a huge headache so I think I'll just do a list to catch up on things.

1.) I've been replaced by another woman in my son's life. And although I'm glad he loves his Kindergarten teacher I about came unglued last week when he told me that he has learned more from Mrs. Ware in three weeks than he ever learned from me. Really? Did she teach you how to, oh I don't know, talk? Go to the bathroom in something other than a diaper? Sing your ABC's? Use the word regenerate correctly in a sentence? That killer whales are really a big dolphin? Not that I'm bitter or anything.

2.) I can't let it go. He also told me that Mrs. Ware didn't think anything about him was crazy when I informed him the striped shirt and camoflauge shorts he picked out to wear last week looked crazy together. Whatever.

3.) On the bright side he did tell me that I was a "kind woman" when I got him some water the other day. I'll always have that.

4.) I don't remember the exact conversation but a few days ago Emma Mae came up to me and said we needed "to do some investigating." So proud of her and her five syllable words.

5.) Awkward moment number one: As we were driving home last week Jake said from the back seat "mama? I wanna know what love is." I was all "okay, love is the way you feel when you want someone else to be happy and you would do anything in the world to make them happy." And he goes "I want you to show me." And I go "well, when we give you hugs that is showing love." And he goes "I want to feel what love is". And I was all "you feel love when you do nice things for other people or when they do nice things for you." And he was all "I know you can show me." And then I realized that Foreigner was playing on the radio singing that old classic "I want to know what love is" and Jake was just repeating the words. I was slightly relieved because the conversation was starting to turn a little bit creepy.

6.) Awkward moment number two: Yesterday morning on the way to school Emma Mae and I were listening to the local Christian station. I heard the DJ say something about lots of money and then something about being the 17th caller. So I figured they were having a contest to give away money. We happened to be stopped in traffic so I called in. And I got through on the first try! And the guy that answered started taking all my info down. I was so excited. I couldn't wait to find out how much I had won. Then he asked me if he could put me down to give $29 a month or did I want to give more than that each month? And I was all "oh, uh, yeah, uh, can you hold on a minute?" Click. I so hung up on the Christian DJ guy. Turns out they were taking donations for some cause or another NOT giving money away. I totally froze and hung up on the guy. I felt like I was back in elementary school. Only back then we used to stay up late at night and call and talk to the DJ's for hours after we requested our favorite song. Probably some Air Supply or Journey or Foreigner. And looking back on it that also has a creepy factor to it.