Let them eat ketchup

This recession or whatever it is we're in right now is really starting to take its toll. We didn't have much in our IRA to begin with but now we have even less. About half as much to be exact. I'm not exactly sure how this whole stock market thing works, but it seems sort of like going to Vegas and watching the slot machines take all your nickels one by one. At some point, you just have to leave the slots behind and go to the nearest buffet. So even though all of the experts say not to worry about things and to just leave your money where it is, I have to wonder if this is bogus advice. Here's a thought.

Dear T. Rowe Price,

I want my money back.

Sincerely, Kim

It seems all sectors of the private market have been hit hard by this recession. Last week we decided to take our Jeep in to get the oil changed. Now, Mike is perfectly capable of doing this but we wanted to save him the time and effort so he took the car to Jiffy Lube. They had a sign out front spouting oil changes for just $24.99. Imagine my hubby's shock when they told him at check out that he owed them $44.99! He patiently explained to the guy behind the desk that he wanted the "special" oil change that only cost $24.99. But the guy behind the desk informed him that the special doesn't apply to bigger cars that take more oil. Mike told him he felt like that was false advertising so the guy generously took $8 off of the total price. Hmm.

Dear Jiffy Lube,

Please stop trying to stick it to the little people. I know we are evil because we drive an SUV, but that doesn't mean that we deserve to pay $20 more than people in smaller cars. Especially, when your sign out front says oil changes for one price. That, my friends, is false advertising or some sort of oil changing entrapment scheme you've got going there. You should have had another sign that said "If you drive a large vehicle, don't bother coming to us because we will rip you off."

Angrily yours, Little Mama

Lastly, we found out last week that one of our childhood icons is also feeling the pinching of pennies in these hard times. We went through the drive through at McDonald's and ordered our standard burger and fry meal. When we got up to the window Mike asked the cashier for some Hot Mustard Sauce for the fries because that's how we roll. She begrudgingly gave him one packet. Now, we like a lot of dipping sauce so he asked for two or three more packets. And she told him no because the hot mustard sauce is only for people ordering chicken nuggets. So Mike said something like what if I like to dip my fries in it and she told him that's what ketchup is for. Hold up, McDonald's lady. Drop the attitude please. She then informed him that we could buy hot mustard packs for only 11 cents a pop. I thought I saw steam coming out of my husband's ears. I could see he needed him some hot mustard and even though I thought it was ridiculous I dug up a quarter and gave it to him to pay her off with. So she gave us two more packs and kept the change.

Dear McDonald's,

I find it hard to believe that you need to charge your customers for sauce in order to make a profit. It's not like we asked for twenty hot mustards. I feel the golden arches are sadly tarnished right now. I don't think your greed in this situation portrays the spirit of kindness that Ronald McDonald has come to exemplify around the world. I'm sure he's rolling over in his circus tent right now. However, if you really need our extra 11 cents then I hope you will invest it into some good customer service training classes for your employees.

Hot under the collar, LM