Friday, July 31, 2009

I think I'm one step closer to that coveted Mother of the Year Award

The last two weeks have been very hectic here. We finally got everything moved out of the rental house and moved over to our house. Our garage is total chaos now. We have so many boxes to go through and we have a huge stack of garage sale material to get rid of.

The house is wonderful but there have been a few minor glitches. For starters, when we hooked up our washing machine something fell down into one of the pipes which caused a huge backup of water that flooded part of the house. Good thing we have mostly tile floors. It made for an easy cleanup.

Secondly, when the furniture store delivered our new couches the guys bringing them in accidentally took a big chunk out of one wall that had to be repaired.

Lastly, our kitchen island was installed crooked. I knew something was funny inside the house before we moved in, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Once we got the furniture inside it was like a big, red arrow was pointing to the island saying "CROOKED!"

So, anyhow the last week was filled with repairman after repairman coming into the house. It has been crazy.

On Tuesday I decided to skip my Bible study to keep the kids home while we waited for the carpenter to come fix the crooked island. Also, when we were at church Sunday both kids had complete meltdowns that resulted in me carrying a kicking, screaming Jake out to the car while his Sunday school teacher pushed a completely irate Emma in her stroller to the car for me. That little episode resulted in me almost losing my skirt in the church parking lot because of the kicking, squirming toddler. Needless to say, I thought staying home on Tuesday would be the best thing for everyone involved.

However, it turns out we should have been in church. Maybe then we could have avoided the trip to the ER. That afternoon as I was giving Emma her bottle before putting her down for a nap I noticed something we don't experience here often. Silence. Total silence. I immediately picked Emma up to go find Jake. Not five second later I hear him screaming and crying. He came out of our bedroom clutching at his mouth and throat. I asked him to show me what he had done so he took me in the bedroom and pointed to our bed with an overturned bottle of rubbing alcohol on it. I really didn't feel like he could have ingested much of it just because it would have tasted so bad and because the bottle still looked pretty much at the level it had started at. But he was so upset and looked like he was hurting so much that I got worried and decided to call poison control. Too bad the number for poison control was still packed away in one of my boxes. I ended up calling Amy to see if she knew the number and she suggested I call his doctor. After many phone calls I got hooked up with poison control and talked to a professional. She didn't seem that worried about it either. She just said to give him something sweet to drink, watch him and if he threw up more than twice or acted drunk I would need to take him to the ER.

We sat on the couch together while he drank a juice box and kept trying to fall asleep. I was worried about the sleepiness because that sounds like acting drunk to me so I decided to conduct my own little field sobriety test. I asked him if he could walk. He said yes. He got down off the couch, took three stumbling steps, and fell flat on his face. On our wonderfully easy to clean tile floors. He seriously got the biggest goose egg on his forehead that I've ever seen. I felt so awful. Not only had I contributed to my sons first (hopefully last) bout with drunkenness but I also had now helped him get a serious head injury.

We went straight to the ER. Well, we went to the ER after I called Amy in a panic and asked her to come watch Emma who was by now asleep in her crib. She said she would be here as soon as she could but she was about thirty minutes away. I was really worried about Jake so I went in search of a neighbor who could come stay with Emma until Amy arrived. I'm not kidding you that I went outside with Jake in my arms and found the first (and only) person out in the street. It was a man I had just met the night before although Mike has talked to him several times. I knew he was a Baptist preacher with three kids so I figured he would be okay. I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy now. However, he did graciously come over and stayed with Emma until help arrived.

When we got to the ER the doctor seemed to think Jake's bump on the head was more serious than the alcohol ingestion so they did a cat scan. We stayed there for about four hours of observation while Jake came out of his drunken state. I'm still wondering what Sponge Bob Squarepants looks like to a drunk two year old. I'm sure we'll be paying for therapy for that later in life. The cat scan came back normal and he is doing fine now. He slept from 6pm to 5:30 the next morning. When he woke up he came into our room and crawled in bed with me. The first thing he asked for was some crackers. As we lay there together I kept getting whiffs of alcohol smell. I think it was coming out of his pores. I got him up, gave him a bath, watched him poop in the bathtub and didn't even care. I was just so happy to have a safe little boy back home with me. Through the whole experience just when panic was about to set in I kept having two thoughts. The first one was that I was sorry I had been so mean to Jake (and vice versa) that morning. He had been in time out three or four times already. The second was a voice saying "Be still and know that I am God." When I began to get panicked about leaving Emma with a near stranger I heard "Be still and know that I am God." When I began to worry that Jake might be in serious condition I heard "Be still and know that I am God." When I realized that I had to get to an emergency room fifteen or twenty miles away in a car that had been on empty for a day already "Be still and know that I am God." Looks like I got my Bible study after all.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Little Em at four months

Emma had her four month check up today. She's doing great although a little on the little side where weight is concerned. She checked out at 12 lbs 7 oz. which puts her in the 25th percentile. She's 24 inches long. Her height and head size are in the 75th percentile. Her doctor (who I love) said she's doing great but if we got a couple more pounds on her it would really help her appearance. What's that supposed to mean? She's cute as a bug. I'm trying not to hold that against him right now. Anyway, here are her four month accomplishments.

Easily flips from her back to her tummy. Still working on tummy to back.

Loves to suck on her toes! Ick!

Reaches for toys now.

Spits up on us regularly.

Belly laughs-but only at Jake. (and i'm not at all bitter about this fact.)

Takes three good naps a day.

Makes me love her more and more each day.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Shred

Okay, so I've completed my first full week of working out. I actually only did four days of my thirty day shred video. Then I did one day of walking. Then I rested for two days because I am not God. I need more than one day of rest.

Once I recovered from my hamstring and bladder pull injuries from day one of the Shred I really started to not think I was going to die while I was doing it. I may have WANTED to die but I seriously didn't think it would happen. I think I'll even go up to Level 2 starting tonight. For those of you who don't know, Jillian Michaels is one of the trainers for TV's The Biggest Loser and she is also my personal trainer for this video. She tells you that she is tough from the beginning and she doesn't lie. About being tough anyway. There are a couple things she DOES lie about though. I think I'll address them in a letter.

Dear Jillian,

As an active participant in your thirty day shred video I feel I must advise you of a couple lies you are telling your viewing audience.

Number one: There is TOO a way to modify a jumping jack. It's called moving your legs but not your arms, or moving your arms but not your legs. Or sitting on the couch bouncing your feet on the floor while you finish your pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream. In fact, just about anything in life can be modified if you just put your mind to it.

Number two: The word couple means two. If you look up the word in the dictionary it says that couple is either two people or a pair of things. So when you say for instance, "come on ladies you only have a couple more of these to do" I should be able to do two more and then quit. It really makes me quite angry when I think I only have a couple more crunches to do and then you keep going for another ten. That is blatant misleading and I don't care for it one bit. Don't lie to me. If we have fifty more crunches to do then just lay it on me. I can handle it. If not, there is always the Ben and Jerry's in the fridge I can go to for help.

Abs are sore in Austin

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

No pain, no gain

Remember this?

After about a month of glancing at this workout video every time I walked by it on the kitchen counter I decided to actually start doing it tonight. The problem is that I've been injured. First it was my feet, then it was my back and then it was my feet again. But I started feeling better and began walking again last week. Tonight, after my walk I walked by the video on my way to get a glass of water and said what the heck? No guts, no glory my friends.

I made it through my first 20 minute workout (on level one) of the thirty day shred. If my math is correct, that means I have 29 more days until I have a glorious body. I'll let you know how it all works out. It was a good workout. Level one is perfect for someone who hasn't worked out in awhile. My legs and arms are shaky and I think that's a good thing. I will say I incurred a minor (hopefully) injury during the cool down. That's right, I said the cool down. NOT the actual workout. I was supposed to be stretching out my quads but lost my balance and pulled my hamstring a little bit. Also, ever since I got out of the shower I can't seem to quit peeing my pants just a little bit. I think I may have pulled my bladder. I'm hoping both injuries will magically disappear in my sleep tonight. Since I know no one is really interested in my work out habits I promise to only update you on my progress once a week. I have to be held accountable in some way or I know I'll stop after a week or another muscle or major organ pull. May the force be with me.

Friday, July 3, 2009

It's another top ten list!

The other day as I was listening to the radio in the car a song came on that reminded me of how much I love songs that remind me of summer and just plain make me happy. I immediately started compiling my top ten favorite summery songs list and made it all the way to number four. Then I forgot to think about it again. Today, both Big Mama and Boo Mama have put up lists of their favorite summer songs so I thought I would do the same. Because I'm really tight with Big Mama and Boo Mama. By tight, I mean we are really good friends. And by really good friends, I mean I've never met or spoken to either one of them. We are really only friends in my head. Come to think of it, my head is where most of my social life takes place. God bless imagination. So, here's my list. Feel free to share your favorites too. Happy fourth everyone!

1.) Jack and Diane by John Cougar (prior to him becoming Mellencamp). I don't know if this song came out in the summer or not but it makes me so happy everytime I hear it and is the inspiration for this wonderful list. I never wanted to suck on a chilli dog until I heard this song. By the way, he is awesome in concert even though it is a little disconcerting seeing what a tiny man he is.

2.) Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison? I think he might have sung this song. I'm too lazy to do a google search and see if I'm correct. I never wanted to have brown eyes until I heard this song. It's just so happy!

3.) Boys of Summer by Don Henley. Hello, it's a song with the word summer in the title. Enough said.

4.) Isn't she Lovely by Stevie Wonder. Love, love, love this song. Makes me smile everytime I hear it especially now that I equate it with little Emma.

5.) Happy Girl by Martina McBride I think. Again, lazy. How can you not be a happy girl when you're singing about being one?

6.) Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet. Or anything by Jimmy Buffet. His music makes me want to sell the house, buy a boat, stock up on tequila and anchor off of Catalina Island for awhile.

7.) Dancing Queen by Abba. Oh, speakers at any dance club, I miss you so.

8.) How Sweet It Is by James Taylor. The man has a gift. He could probably sing about your cat dying of cancer and make it sound happy.

9.) Soak up the Sun by Sheryl Crowe. I would love to soak up some sun today if it wasn't 105 degrees outside.

10.) Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield. Summer, fall, winter, spring. Did you really think I would make a list of my favorite music and not include this song?

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Do we really need to eat and stuff?

My most dreaded task of any week is going to the grocery store. I try to create a menu for the week, make a detailed list and get everything I need for the week in one trip. Alas, it never seems to work out. Even with my detailed list I end up needing to go back a day or two later for a few last minute items. It sucks. Sure, I try to tell myself that the dog doesn't really need to eat until next week, but then he gives me those puppy dog eyes and I always cave in and go back to get him his food. I'm not a creative cook so if the recipe calls for parsley and we don't have any I HAVE to go back to the store to get the parsley instead of looking around and saying hey maybe this cilantro would work instead. All this to say, I feel like I spend the majority of my free time in the HEB. I would much rather be spending my free time at Starbucks or Target or a spa or even a pit full of vipers than being at the grocery store.

For starters, if you don't get there early in the morning or late evening you can expect to be assaulted by wall to wall grocery carts, people with B.O. and at least one screaming child making his mama go bonkers as she tries to bribe him with cookies or donuts to get him to just be quiet for a minute while I finish my shopping! Not that I've ever done that. I'm just sayin'.

My main reason for dreading the weekly (daily) trip to the store is that it eats up so much of my time. It's like I enter some sort of time warp as soon as I step through those automatic doors. I always spend at least an hour to an hour and a half on my weekly trip. Yesterday, I went in to get six things. Six things! And it took me thirty minutes to get out of there. Crazy. Of course, I did spend a few minutes in the frozen food section just opening the doors and standing in front of various frozen things to cool off. Come to think of it, there were quite a few people doing the same thing. Have I mentioned it's hotter than the sun here? I thought about crawling into the ice cream freezer and laying down with my arms around a half gallon of Blue Bell mint chocolate chip but someone beat me to it. Plus, that would have turned my thirty minute trip into an hour long escapade and who has the time?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009