Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Toy Story

Let me start off this post by saying that we have way too many toys in our house. It's almost embarrassing to me that we have allowed our kids to live in such excess. They just build up until you have this mountain of toys that could never be fully played with. Birthdays and Christmas's come and go and the toys march on.

With that being said, I find myself laughing daily about the sad state of affairs I find some of these toys in. I wonder how happy they are living with us. Take Dora for instance:

Dora. What's up girl? Bad hair day? You look like you could use a trip to the spa. Come to think of it, you look a lot like me. Maybe we should go together.

I found these two horses on a little ledge inside Jake's closet. Maybe they're in time out.

These pool toys were in our pantry hanging out with the cookbooks.

Spiderman hangs out on our back door more often than not.

I like how orderly these toys are. Nice row formation and grouping of like kinds. Toy segregation anyone?

I found this on the kitchen table when I got out of the shower a few days ago. Interesting. I wonder if this is how all those Easter Island statues got built. Some mama's left their kids alone for an hour while they bathed in a nearby stream and BAM! They come back and find weird stone statues all over the place.

I don't even want to think about what this guy did to get hanged from the mini blinds. Bad elephant!

This is what I found in the kids sink last night. They built a water zoo. Otherwise known as an aquarium. Unfortunately, there was a little bitty dolphin in there somewhere that I didn't see and when I let the water out to drain it slid down the drain never to be seen or heard from again. It was tragic. I'm not sure if Jake will ever forgive me. I might have to help him punish some of his bad toys to get back in his good graces.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

One wedding and two funerals

The kids have been talking a lot lately about the fact that some day Mike and I are going to be dead. They are very matter of fact about this. They don't seem terribly upset about it although they do say they will both be sad when we die. Which is comforting I guess. Neither one of us is knocking at heaven's door just yet so I'm not sure where this conversation is coming from. I just try to be very matter of fact about it and agree with them that yes, everyone dies someday. I also tell them that when we die we get to go see Jesus in heaven and they think that's pretty cool.

A few days ago we were over at a neighbors house playing when Jake looked at the mama over there and said "my mom and dad are gonna die someday." She was all "oh, okay." Are they overly concerned with death at five and two? I vividly remember being scared of my parents dying when I was in elementary school. My mom and dad were about ten years older than most of my friends parents and I guess I thought that meant they might not be long for the earth. I prayed for God to let them live until I got out of high school at least. Don't worry, they are both doing fine all these years later. But I do remember it being a legitimate concern of mine. Could I have passed this morbid line of thought down to my own children? After all, my mama and I were both 39 when we had our last child. How do you handle your children's questions about death? Or am I the only one whose kids think about it?

At this very moment they are watching Bambi for the first time. Perhaps that wasn't the best choice of things to do this morning. Should make for some interesting conversation later. On the bright side when I tell them that mommy and daddy shouldn't be dying anytime soon, Jake brings up the point that even if we don't die he and Emma will be leaving home in a few years leaving me and Mike alone and sad. So, that's cheerful.

Speaking of interesting conversations, Jake broke Emma's heart a couple days ago. He told her that he no longer wanted to marry her because she's his sister. While Emma was crying, I was praising God that we dodged that particular bullet. Then, Jake told Emma that he was going to marry his cousin Alia instead. I suggested he marry one of the girl's in his class at school but he wants to marry his cousin. Guess I should be thankful that at least he is stepping out to a further branch of our genetic tree. Maybe someday he'll climb off of our tree and marry some nice girl in another orchard.

I also suggested to Emma Mae that she marry her best buddy at school. His name is Bryson. She always talks about how wonderful and silly this kid is. But when I told her she should marry him she just looked at me and burst into tears. After further questioning, she told me she could not marry Bryson because he threw up in class one day. And she does NOT want to marry a boy who throws up. So, I'm glad that Emma Mae is already setting the bar pretty high for these boys. If you throw up, do not talk to my daughter.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

It's a wonderful life

Friday night I was sitting on the couch reading my latest addiction (Game of Thrones) while Mike was cooking some of his amazing chilli for dinner. I looked up to see Jake lying on the floor contentedly playing his Leapster game and Emma Mae sitting on our ottoman looking at her own book. I was just amazed at how beautiful they are. Then Mike came over and sat down to play Angry Birds. And Brady came over to pant all over me.

You ever have one of those moments where the sunlight is hitting everything just right and everything is so achingly beautiful and the world just seems very clear and very, well, right? It was one of those moments. No one was talking to me or even paying attention to me (except the dog) but I just realized how in love I am with the whole lot of them. Three days later and I still remember it crystal clear. That is a feat for me! I wanted to get up and grab my camera to capture everyone the way they were in that moment. But I knew as soon as I moved the moment would be over. So I just looked and watched and tried my best to commit it to memory.

At the time, I had music playing in the background and it just happened to be one of my favorite songs. And it described the way I was feeling so perfectly. So lest I forget these wonderful feelings tomorrow when the kids spill water colors all over the carpet or eat crackers all over my clean floor or I find a doggy fur ball the size of a cat in the corner somewhere, let me quote Sir Elton John who said it so eloquently, "I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words. How wonderful life is while you're in the world."

Friday, February 17, 2012


I think I'm ready to talk about last Saturday now. It started off just like any other Saturday. The kids and I got out of bed, had breakfast and I let Jillian Michaels torture me in the form of her Yoga Meltdown video. Then I got the kids dressed and went to take a shower and get ready for the day. I was planning on taking the kids to a dinosaur park in the area that we had never been to before.

I actually made it through my entire shower before Emma Mae came screaming to me that Jake had hurt her. She was holding onto her left arm at the elbow and she was crying hysterically. Just like any other day around here. So, being the mother of the year 2012, I told her that she was okay and if she didn't stop crying then we wouldn't be able to go see the dinosaurs. I told her to go sit on the couch and try to calm down while I got dressed.

Well. She never did calm down. So I threatened her with a trip to the doctor instead of a trip to the dinosaurs. And lo and behold, my almost three year old looked at me and said "mama, I WANT to go to the doctor so he can make my boo boo feel better." So then I knew we really had a problem.

I loaded both kids up in the car and left for the nearest urgent care. The place we go is the best. We never have to wait and the staff is so nice and caring. So, if you have to go to urgent care I hope you can find one as good as ours.

We walked in with me holding Emma Mae who was still crying hysterically and Jake marched himself up to the reception desk and told the girl "hi, I'm Jake and this is my sister Emma. I pulled on her arm and hurt her." I was amazed. Who was this child acting so grown up and taking full responsibility for his actions?

Well. Long story short. Jake had pulled Emma by her hand and jerked her from a sitting position up to a standing position. Which dislocated her elbow. The way to fix a dislocated elbow in a two year old is just to straighten the arm out. So, that's what the doctor did. And Emma Mae did not like it. Then they took her back to do an x-ray just to be sure nothing else was going on. She was still crying and of course they made me hold her down cause I'm the mama and apparently that's in my contract somewhere. She was a little distraught on the first x-ray but completely hysterical on the second when the tech had to twist her thumb a little bit. So they sent us back to a room for a dose of codeine laced tylenol and waited ten minutes to take the second x-ray. Poor little Emma. I told her they had to do a second x-ray to make sure her arm was fixed and she said she wanted me to do it because that doctor was making her very angry. A little codeine and an orange popsicle later, the pain had subsided enough to take the second x-ray and determine everything was okay. As soon as Emma showed them she could use her arm they let us leave.

The kids promptly told me they still wanted to go see the dinosaurs. I took them because I thought they both deserved a treat after being so brave and responsible in the midst of adversity.

The dino park was so cool. Jake looked like he had died and gone to heaven. As soon as we walked into the place he ran up to this huge t-rex head, threw his arms around it and said "OH! I JUST LOVE YOU!" Have I told you he has a flair for the dramatic?

I was able to get my geek on and learn lots of useful facts about dinosaurs. Like this stegasaurus for instance. Scientists think that this was the dumbest dino ever. His brain was the size of a walnut. Too little to even control a body as big as he had. They had a bundle of nerves over a rear leg twenty times bigger than their brain to control movement. Weird. And cool. Come on, that's cool.

I'm sure this guy will be coming soon to a nightmare near you. Look at those claws. He looks fierce. But actually, scientists think they used those long claws to dig for insects. Wow. Um, excuse me mister dino? Maybe the reason your kind became extinct was because you didn't know how to use what your mama gave you.

We went from seeing Emma Mae's arm bones to digging for bones of some of the largest creatures to ever live all in one day. And after all that when I asked Emma what her favorite part of the day was she said "eating a popsicle!"

Friday, February 10, 2012


This is my hubby's mistress. She's cute in a very green, boxy sort of way. I call her Frogger. She was a gift from my brother in law-I guess she used to be his mistress. So that's kind of weird.

Mike doesn't have a lot of free time but often times when he does he chooses to spend it with her. He tinkers. He gets his hands dirty. He whispers sweet nothings to her like "come on and start up baby!" She's been sitting in our garage for a year now. She wouldn't run. I think she was depressed.

Mike also doesn't have a lot of extra money but when he does get some he buys her parts instead of buying his wife baubles or bangles. I'm not the least bit bitter.

Well, today it all paid off for them. Mike finally got her running and before I knew it she had him and both my kids buckled up, driving off into the sunset. I was left standing in the driveway remembering the time when I had a family.

But then I looked down and realized that she was leaking some sort of fluid as she went. I knew they would have to come back. Seems she was leaking gas which can't be good. I felt kind of sorry for her. After all, since having the kids I've been known to leak a few liquids here and there as well. She looks old and run down. I look old and run down. She has holes in the interior. I have a bad back. I'm pretty sure at least one family of mice has taken up residence in there at one time or another and probably never even told her thank you. I decided a truce was in order. If they ever made it back to the driveway I would welcome them all with open, loving arms. And guess what? They're back.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

oh, what a beautiful morning!

The kids and I had such a great day together today! Since that doesn't always happen I thought I should write it down. We started off the day with a half batch of some homemade whole wheat blueberry muffins. I love the Cookie Madness blog because not only does she always have yummy recipes posted, she often makes half batches in case you're not feeling like making a whole bunch of something.

After breakfast we went to the Y so I could inflict torture upon myself in the form of pilates. Emma Mae does not like going to the YMCA. She says the people in the nursery are scary and she throws a fit every time I drop her off. Of course, every time I pick her up she is totally having fun and smiling so I think it's all a ruse. The work out made me feel so good that I took the kids to the park afterwards to play. It was a gorgeous morning. We even made new friends with a neighbor and her cool Doberman pincher.

When we got home we ate lunch and played a card game together. Everything was going so well until Emma's naptime. She has become a bear at naptime. I would give it up completely except that she is a also a bear when she doesn't take a nap. It took me 30 minutes of laying in bed with her, rubbing her back while trying not to flip out everytime she kicked me or told me that "taking a nap is not my favorite mommy" before she finally sacked out for a couple hours.

Then instead of trying to clean or nap myself I spent the afternoon reading to Jake and just playing with him. So much fun! Too bad it doesn't happen more often around here. Love my kiddos and love the fact I get to stay home with them most of the time while they're little and don't think I'm embarrassing.

Friday, February 3, 2012

My core just isn't what it used to be

In an effort to get rid of a few pounds and some extra padding around the middle, Mike and I decided to join the YMCA last week. It didn't hurt that they had a special deal going on because we all know by now that I can't pass up a good deal. Running is out for me now because of all the stess it puts on my back and even my walking has been hit or miss lately because of the weather. The great thing about the Y is that they offer lots of different workout classes that I can go to and free childcare so I can go whenever I want. And we can always cancel if we don't feel we're getting enough bang for our buck.

Anyhow, I attended my first class last Saturday. I chose water aerobics. Specifically the "aqua burn" class. It sounded challenging yet like something that wouldn't aggravate my back. So I took my first water aerobics class with five of the nicest senior citizens in Buda, Tx. At first when I saw my fellow aerobicizers I thought that maybe I wouldn't go all out on my workout because I didn't want to put them to shame. Well. I shouldn't have even considered that. These people were lapping me in the pool. We would be running or frog hopping or riding a bike from one end of the pool to the next and I would always start out in the lead. Then before I knew it Richard, the Denises and Scottie would all be passing me up. I was humbled. When it came time for the water noodle workout I was a little stressed out. The instructor gave me a smaller noodle than everyone else and I still had a hard time with it. I could not keep that thing under the water to save my life. Finally, the instructor just looked at me and said "why don't you try this without the noodle for now honey?" Humiliating. However, the others were very understanding and kept trying to council me and tell me that I would get better with time. I honestly don't know if there will be a next time. I actually felt really good afterwards and my back was pain free so I may have to endure further humiliation and keep working out with the seniors.

I also went to a pilates class with people more my age that I loved. It was a great workout and I actually kept up with everyone. Can't wait to go back.

And go back I will because last Sunday the two sweet ladies I teach Sunday School with at church asked me if I was with child. Ya'll. I am not. Let me hand out some advice here that I can't believe I'm having to hand out. Never, and I mean never, ask a lady if she's pregnant. If you have to start out your sentence by saying "can I ask you something without hurting your feelings?" then don't ask it. Because chances are you are going to hurt that persons feelings. I think all three of us wanted to cry when I told them that I was not pregnant but apparently I looked like it in the dress I was wearing. So, hello YMCA! I'll be with you until I no longer appear to be preggo.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Monster juice

Okay, I've jumped on the green smoothie band wagon. And I really love them! I tried to get the kids to love them by calling it monster juice. They're not that impressed. Here's the recipe I use:

1 banana
1/2 cup of plain greek yogurt
2 cups spinach
3/4 cup milk
1 tablespoon peanut butter

Put everything in a blender and blend until smooth. Enjoy!