Saturday, February 23, 2013

100 Days!

Jake celebrated his 100th day of Kinder a couple weeks ago. He was so excited. They were all supposed to dress up like they were 100 years old. So he chose a shirt with a skeleton on it. Because all 100 year olds are just bones without skin apparently. It's hard to see in the picture but we sprayed his hair white. And he thought the glasses were a nice touch. He said it was his favorite day ever of Kinder because they had fun all day and didn't have to do any "boring stuff." He also showed us how he can count to 100 now. And he figured out that his MeMaw is the oldest person he knows. When I told him she was 81 he said "whoa. that is very close to 100." Which makes her the coolest person in the world to him.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

To the Mouse in our House

Dear Mouse in our house:

Get out. Once upon a time, we welcomed your kind into our home because I thought you were cute. But I quickly learned that field mice don't make good pets. You are skittish, squeaky and you jump really high. Listen. You don't belong in our cabinets, behind our refrigerator or in the drawer under the oven where I keep my cookie sheets.

You are a field mouse. You belong in a field. It's in your name. Claim it. Own it. Be it. Stop eating the dead ants behind our couch that I just discovered were there this afternoon. Imagine my horror upon finding that mass ant graveyard surrounded by your, um, droppings. So glad I finally decided to pull out the couch so I could vacuum under it. I feel dirty and like I might need to check into a hotel for awhile.

Please go. I'm asking nicely. Clearly, you are too smart to be fooled by our peanut butter traps. And obviously, my so called cat doesn't frighten you in the least. Probably has something to do with the fact that she can't keep her balance and frequently falls down while I'm petting her. Stop mocking kitty. I don't want to pull out the non organic, chemically laden poison I know they sell at WalMart. But I fear it may be coming to that.

In short,

I do not want you eating ants. I do not want you in my pants. I do not want you here or there. I do not want you anywhere. I do not want you little mouse.  So please exit our little house.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Weekend happenings

The weekend felt like a whirlwind. I'm not one who likes to be really busy. I like to enjoy doing nothing on a regular basis. With a little fun thrown in here and there. Ask my friends. Back in my single days they had to schedule outings pretty far in advance so I could make sure I wouldn't be too tired to go out that day. I just feel pressured when I have something to do every single day.

So I try not to overbook the kids lives as well. But on Saturday we had two, count them, two things to do. Social engagements. The first was a play date with one of Jake's friends from preschool. We hadn't seen him in awhile and I really enjoy his mama too so we were looking forward to their visit. They came over, the boys played, Emma entertained us mommies and then we headed to the park for awhile. It was perfectly lovely.

But right after they left we had to eat lunch and make our way to another park for a birthday party for one of Jake's classmates. Challenging times I know. The kids had a great time. They swang. They climbed. They ran around. Then the local fire department showed up and let the kids tour the fire truck. The firemen asked the kiddos if they would like to learn more about the fire truck or safety and the kids chose safety. WHAT?! Anyway, the patient firemen spent the next fifteen minutes or so going over fire safety with these kids. The fireman asked the kids if you get down low or stay up high to avoid smoke. Everyone said Stay Low! Then Emma Mae had to put in her two cents worth. So she said "well in my house I would get down low and crawl on the floor until I found Zoe my cat and blah, blah, blah." She went on for about four minutes. This poor man was so kind. He let her talk until she was done. Then he said what if there is a fire and you make it out of the house but Fluffy does not? Do you go back in for Fluffy? Everyone said no. But Emma Mae said "hey, we don't even have a Fluffy at our house!" The fireman looked at her kindly and said "okay." Eventually, I had to distract Emma from the fire talk because her commentary was getting ridiculous. So she went back to the swings while the firemen finished up their public service birthday party obligations.

Then yesterday we went to church, out to lunch for burgers and fries because I'm starting a new "lifestyle choice" today which excludes flavor or anything my body craves, then we hit up the pet store for a couple new fish for Em's tank. I also had to make chocolate chip cookies when we got home for Mike to take to one of his classes today because snack time is not just for Kindergarteners anymore.

I am totally wiped out today. And we had another play date at the park this morning. Which involved Jake accidentally backing over a toddler with his Hot Wheels Jeep and Emma Mae telling the entire park population that we can't afford dance class. Listen. I know that to most people this sounds like normal activity. But for me it makes my brain hurt. I fear this is too much socializing for me to take. So for the rest of the day we are going to lay low and maybe review some fire safety rules or practice driving without hitting pedestrians.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentines Day!

Today I woke up at the crack of dawn, put my fuzzy socks on and stumbled to the kitchen to make some blueberry muffins for the family to show them how much I love them on this day of hearts, candy and overly expensive greeting cards. Jake and Emma Mae got out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen where they discovered a few Valentine treats left by the Valentine fairy, Santa Valentine, the Valentine Bunny, Little Mama and Big Daddy.

Emma got a My Little Pony pony because to say she is obsessed with these ponies is putting it mildly and some new pj's. Jake got a BatMan because why not? and a Ninjago t-shirt. They each got one obligatory candy item as well.

Jake has exactly 45 minutes to get ready every morning or else he misses the bus and I have to put on real clothes and act like I care about my appearance at 7:30 in the morning to take him to school. You can see why we push him to make the bus every day right? Well. It was very hard for him to "focus" as Emma Mae would say on getting ready this morning when he had a brand new BatMan toy that needed to be broken in. How can a child be super speedy when running around playing but slower than maple syrup to get dressed in the morning? He finally got dressed and sat down to eat his muffin with about 10 minutes left before bus arrival. The next ten minutes went something like this. "Jake. Eat your muffin."  "Jake. Take a bite of your muffin." "Jake! You need to eat your muffin before the bus gets here!" "Jake. Try to focus on your breakfast. Eat your muffin. Drink your juice." "Jake. You have two minutes left. Forget about the muffin. Go brush your teeth. Let's go, let's go, let's GO!" We like to have nice relaxing meals around here.

Once Jake and Mike had left for school I decided it was time to pull out a workout video to counter effect all of the crap I would likely eat today. So for the next thirty minutes I let Jillian Michaels torture me by saying things like "focus on your body. Hey! Don't phone this thing in. Put in the time." Good Lord. If I wanted to hear someone bark like a drill sargeant all morning I would just listen to myself trying to get Jake ready every day.

After I got my sweat on and showered and dressed for the day, Emma Mae and I made our weekly trip to Target and Petco. She will have so many fond memories of her childhood someday. Let me start off by saying that getting Emma out the door is no cake walk either. Here is the question that I hate asking every single day. The question that always ends up with me pulling out some hair, or raising my voice in an angry way, or with someone in the house rolling up in the fetal position. The question is "where are your shoes?" I know where my shoes are, do you? For some reason the six year old and the three and three quarters year old never have a clue about their shoes. When we finally located a pair we had the same old discussion about what was wrong with them. According to Emma all of her shoes are too tight! And she doesn't know how to put them on herself. It is literally exhausting.

Anyhow, we finally made it out of the house. We hit up the Starbucks in Target because I had a coupon for 50% off of their desserts. Emma chose a cake pop and I chose a cheesecake brownie to eat with my mocha because hey, why else am I working out? My favorite lady at this Starbucks told me she couldn't take my coupon because it wasn't good at Target Starbucks. So I had to pay full price for the treats. Listen. This hit me hard. The thought of paying full price for something that I have a coupon for half off of is ridiculous to me. I don't care about your rules. Starbucks is Starbucks for crying out loud. Anyway, we took our treats and slunk off to the dollar aisle to browse. Ya'll. I couldn't even make it down the dollar aisle because they were restocking and there were Target employees and their carts all over the place. I'm not sure why, but I just started crying. I'm pretty sure I was still reeling from coupon rejection but maybe there were also some PMS hormones involved. I pulled myself together after a couple minutes and Emma and I managed to finish our shopping duties at Target and went over to Petco to find her a bottom feeding fish for her fish tank. Ya'll. They were out of bottom feeding fish. I wish I could say I didn't tear up when the girl told me that but it would be a lie.

We went home to lick our wounds and decided after lunch to go up to Jake's school for their class Valentines party. I'm so glad we did. This was the first party I've been able to attend for Kindergarten and it was so cute to see all of the kids interact with each other. Of course, once Emma warmed up to the thought of everyone looking at her she started running around the room, hugging her brother and generally threatening to ensure that Mrs. Ware would put in a request to not be her Kinder teacher. Which made me cry just a little bit.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Oh no she didn't

Most nights at dinner we have family prayer. The kids always want to say the prayer themselves. Last night, it was Emma Mae's turn. She usually says a standard "thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus for our food, for our food and our many blessings and our many blessings. amen, amen." It's a song they learn at mother's day out. And I love it. But I do dream about the day when they begin praying from their own heart. Well, last night was it.

She started out saying "God, I love you so much." (Precious.) Then she said "please help all of the people" (good girl, good sweet, loving girl) "by giving them more money. amen" (she wants people to have enough money to buy food, she is a kind, thoughtful, beautiful girl).

Needless to say, I praised her efforts. I told her how wonderful I thought it was that she wanted God to help people have the things they need. And she told me "yeah, I just really want God to give you more money so you can send me to dance class." "Because I need to learn how to twirl." Way to bring it on back to yourself little girl. Way to do that. Note to self: Remember to talk about selflessness with offspring. Also, stop discussing financial situation in front of the small ones.

Let's move on to this afternoon. I took Emma Mae to the post office to mail some stuff. Super exciting. But across the street from the post office is Cabela's. Sister really wanted to go over there to see the animals that adorn that store (otherwise known as the wall of death by some of our friends.) So we went. We were having a delightful time actually right up until Emma walked straight up to a larger man standing around looking at fishing poles. And she pointed her little finger right at him. And she said in her loudest voice ever "now, THAT's a fat man." Ya'll. I pushed her into the small aquarium at Cabela's and said "Oh! Look at the fish Emma!" Then when we were far enough away from the man I had a discussion with her about kindness and things that we shouldn't say out loud. It seems my work here is never done. And I think I will be cancelling all future public appearances by Emma Mae until further notice.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Bored games

Today has been cold and rainy. So we couldn't get out to play. Instead, we spent a couple hours playing board games. Oh. My. Word. Have you ever tried to play games with rules with a six year old and a three and three quarters year old? Who knew Chutes and Ladders would be so stressful. I've determined that both of our children have an unhealthy desire to win all the time. And that if there is even the slightest possibility that Jake isn't going to win something he will give up. And then he will declare that thing to be boring. I gave many inspirational character building talks/speeches/sermons today. Then I noticed that it had no effect whatsoever on the offspring. So I gave up.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Where is Harry Potter when I need him?

Emma Mae will turn 4 years old next month. We've always just given her a small family/close friend of the family birthday party. So this year I decided she could have a bigger party and invite whoever she wanted to. She is very excited. After much deliberation we have settled on a My Little Pony theme. Which is way less scary than the Jack Frost theme she wanted last week. I was not relishing the thought of making ice sculptures and painting all the children's hair white.

A few days ago I did what all good mommies who are planning birthday parties do nowadays. I got on Pinterest. And I actually found several cute ideas for the party. Everything from My Little Pony cake ideas to party favors and games. One mama even hired a magician for her kids party because in My Little Pony land "friendship is magic!"

My first thought for entertainment was to rent a bouncy house. Then I did some research and found that the smallest one I could rent would cost $125. That is ridonkulous. I could take 10 of her friends to a bouncy house for the afternoon for cheaper than that.

Then I started thinking about this magician idea. It was fabulous! We could hire a magician to come and entertain the kids and then all I would have to do is give them a piece of cake on their way out the door. So today I did some research on magicians. Now, I'm sure magicians are lovely people. But all of the pictures I looked at made these guys seem slightly creepy. Plus, their names were weird. There was Magic by Carlos whose website claimed that he had been doing magic for a long time. No offense, but I've been singing for a long time but it doesn't mean I'm good at it. The second guy was, well I don't remember his name now, but it had an MD. after it. Which they proudly stated stood for Magic Dude. He also claimed to have been voted Austin's best magician for 2013. Uh, excuse me? We are only five weeks into 2013. You must be pretty confident in yourself. I'm gonna go ahead and vote myself "mother of the year 2013" for the entire world.

Then I actually phoned a third person. He had a lot of good reviews, looked more normal than creepy and seemed to be the best choice. He was very nice and upbeat on the phone. He told me that he would perform for a group of 4 year olds from 45 minutes to 1 hour. He could also juggle, dance and throw machetes.?!? All for $225. And that was a discounted price for booking in February. He could bring in a balloon artist to make animals out of balloons for an extra $125. Sooo, yeah. We will not be having a magician at Emma Mae's birthday party this year. Unless Mike can go on YouTube and learn some tricks ASAP. I'll even buy you your own cape honey! We can call you Magic Mike. Oh wait, I think that name's already taken.

Instead I'm trying to figure out some different ideas. Like how to make magic wands for the kids to play with. I think we'll have a mani/pedi station set up and bedazzle the kiddos with sparkly polish so they can look like their favorite pony. Maybe some tattoes. And I might have to spring for the pink hair paint Emma wants to put in her hair to look like Pinky Pie. Still a lot cheaper than a bounce house or a creepy magician. Oh, I know! We'll tell the kids that Brady's a horse and offer pony rides! For $1! I'll make money off of this party yet.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Meanwhile, at Little Mama

1.) I'm a little behind here at Little Mama. Like that's never happened before! We finished up my birthday week with a lunch date at Chuy's with two of my friends and breakfast donuts from Gordoughs last Sunday morning that put our entire family into some sort of sugar induced coma for the rest of the day. They were delicious. But big. And heavy. And delicious. I took a picture of them on my phone but I have no idea how to get that from the phone to the computer. It seems like it should be easy, but turns out that it is impossible for me.

2.) I did the unthinkable Sunday night after the morning sugar indulgence. I cancelled a babysitter Mike had set up so we could go out and have dinner. Isn't that crazy? I just wasn't feeling it. I think by that point I was officially over my birthday. So we ordered a pizza from the Italian place we were going to go to and ate it at home with the kids. And it was perfect.

3.) After Sunday school last week Emma Mae informed me that Jesus loves popcorn. I was curious about this information. So I asked her how she knew that Jesus loved popcorn. And she told me her Sunday school story for the day. It seems there were some bad people who were going to do bad things to Jesus. So Jesus made popcorn and invited some animals to come over and they had a party instead. Now, I am not familiar with this particular Bible story. But I would like to read it so if you know where in the Bible this comes from please let me know.

4.) Jake had his well child check up last week. In the last year he has put on 2 whole pounds and grown 2 inches. We were really hoping he would be 40 pounds this year so we could legally put him in a booster seat. But alas, the scale only said 38. However, his doctor said we could go ahead and get him in a booster seat as long as it had the five point harness system instead of using a seat belt. So basically, I researched booster seats, agonized over the decision and ordered him one yesterday. Now, I have to convince him that it really is a step up from his "baby seat" even though it looks very similiar.

5.) I also asked the Dr. to do a vision screening test on Jake. With Mike and I as his parents it would be a miracle if this child doesn't need glasses at some point. Well, one eye passed. But the other eye failed. So, it looks like we'll be seeking out a good children's eye doctor sometime soon.