Thursday, June 26, 2008

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

It takes a village...not just some crazy lady in the park

Today when Turbo and I got to the park we found it already inhabited by several older kids and one little cutie named Lexi who is two years old. The older kids were maybe fifth or sixth graders and it looked like they were in charge of Lexi for the day. Because every now and then one of them would look up and say "hey, where's Lexi?" And they would all frantically search until they found her.

Now, I don't mind sharing the park with other people. I usually like it when another mom is there with her kids because it just makes the time go by faster. And we've already established that the park is a good place to pick up other moms. However, although most of these kids seemed nice enough there was one little hoodlum who had the baseball cap turned backwards, the pants hanging down to his knees and some bling on. And oh my, if you could have heard his language and you were dead, you would have rolled over in your grave. I could NOT believe the way this kid was talking. And the other kids were trying to tell him to be quiet or "that lady over there is gonna get mad!" But he did not care about "that lady". Even though I was standing there staring him down, tapping my foot on the ground with my hands on my hips. Did not care. Kept up the language.

So my question is, when is it okay for me to say something to these little people? I understand the whole freedom of speech thing, but really does this apply to kids? We don't let them have the freedom to bear arms so should they really be allowed the freedom to bear a potty mouth? I do remember being in the sixth grade and what it was like to explore your growing independence. My best friend at the time and I actually sat in her room one day saying every cuss word we had ever heard or read over and over again just to show each other that we could. But, it just wasn't us. At the end of our profane litany we decided that cussing was dumb and I don't think either one of us did it again until the college era.

So, what are these kids thinking? And with a two year old present! Not to mention Turbo, who by the way, chose to laugh hysterically the first time "hoody" said the "f" word. Dear God.

Anyhow, I DID say something to one of the other kids when I saw him contemplating hanging from a tree branch by a plastic pole he had with him. I told him "hey, I'm not your mother, but I really don't think that's a good idea." And he laughed and tried it anyway and fell twelve feet down and landed on his back in a screaming heap of boyhood. Clearly, they were very interested in my opinion.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

We are experiencing technical difficulties...

Two things have happened at our house lately that have slowed down the production of this blog. For this, I apologize. I know that my readers (mama) like to see new pictures of Jake (who will from this point on be known as Turbo) and read all about the wonderful, exciting things I do with my time here.

First, Turbo broke my digital camera. It was totally my fault. Well, it was my fault that he got ahold of my camera. It was pretty much his fault that he threw it down on the bathroom floor and broke it. Impulse control. He has none. So, until we can get the camera fixed or save enough money to buy a new one there will be no new pictures. I will dig deep in my files and try to find some I haven't posted before.

Second, our internet service sometimes doesn't work if it's raining, sunny, foggy, snowing or windy outside. I have three words for you. Time Warner Cable. Oh wait, I have another word for you. Sucks. They currently have all of their top people working around the clock to figure out what's wrong with our internet and phone service. Yet they are not offering any discounts. This troubles me.

Hopefully things will get back to normal soon and I can begin providing you with the type of service you've all come to expect from Little Mama. Until then, peace out.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The beauty? It eludes me.

The skin on my face has decided to go back and visit 1985. Back then it was normal to have shiny, oily skin with pimples big enough they had to apply for their own social security cards. But really, this isn't acceptable on a 30-ish year old woman. Maybe it's the heat and the fact that it takes exactly 30 seconds outside for me to be in a full body sweat, but my face is going crazy. Any suggestions? I'm already on ProActive so is there any other miracle drug out there?

Also, I've got enough baggage under my eyes for a two week trip to Hawaii. Except I couldn't afford it since the Airlines are charging for extra luggage these days. I've already tried preparation H. It's not working. Any other suggestions?

And should we talk about the deep wrinkles around my eyes that I used to think were cute back when they were "laugh lines?" Except now they're present even when I'm not laughing. They're pretty much laugh, cry, be angry, happy or indifferent lines now. I need a good wrinkle cream that actually works. Suggestions?

And last but not least, let's talk about my knees. When did an elephant move into my legs? The skin around my knees is saggy and wrinkly. Is there a solution?

Monday, June 16, 2008

Moving on up

Finally, after years of hard work, we have our very own customized pool in the backyard. It has a slide and water feature even! I'm so excited to be able to lounge out back while Jake learns how to swim. I can't wait to get a margarita machine next so I can sip on a cool refreshing beverage while I'm supervising him in the pool. I have a feeling we'll be enjoying our new toy every single day this summer since temperatures have reached the triple digits and seem to be staying there. Check out the pictures below. I feel we have finally arrived. Don't be jealous. Your day will come.

Friday, June 13, 2008

One and a half!

Jake turns 18 months old tomorrow. Or a year and a half. I think you should celebrate half birthdays until you're at least eight years old. So, we bought him a big Elmo balloon and I'm making him a coca-cola cake today.

He is growing so fast! He babbles constantly and still waves his arms around for emphasis which I think is so funny. He is starting to say a few words very clearly though. The best one is Brady. Everytime he sees the dog or a dog who looks similar it's "BRADY!" He does say puppy if the dog doesn't look like Brady. He also says kitty, train, shoe, bubble, mama, dada, juice, and Melmo (Elmo). He can name many body parts and point to them. On Wednesday we went to a friend's house for dinner and he pointed to his knee where he had a scrape and said "boo boo". But the best part was that then he bent over and kissed his own boo boo. Classic.

He is still a ball of energy and I'm guessing that's not going to change. He does have moments now though where he'll just chill out for a minute sitting in his chair or even just lay on the ground if he's really tired. We're still dealing with an apparently volatile temper on occasion. And I'm guessing that won't change for awhile either. Good thing his sweet times make up for the times where he's throwing things at our heads or hitting the sweet puppy and kitty. We love you Jakey!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Monday, June 9, 2008

It was just one of those moments...

Yesterday, in an effort to pass some time while Mike was at work, I took Jake with me to Barnes and Noble to spend a gift card I had received. I normally try to leave Jake at home when I go shopping because he just has better things to do than to hold my hand and wait patiently while I look around. But yesterday I was feeling brave so off we went.

Oh, my Lord. About two minutes after entering the store, Jake found this display of colorful plastic bags that were hanging from a table filled with books. Before I could stop him, he made a beeline over to one of the bags and grabbed it which knocked down all the other bags along with four or five books. So, I thought, no problem. I just picked everything up without losing my cool and we headed on over to the children's section where they have a Thomas the Train play table. So, basically, we went to the bookstore so that Jake could play with trains for half an hour. Whatever. He was happy and I was out of the house. We also met a darling little girl who had apparently run away from her mother and really wanted to show me every stuffed animal in the store. I guess she thought I worked there or something because she also had me getting down backpacks for her to look at and she picked out a book on how to speak French and told me that I should buy it for Jake. She was lovely, but boy was her mama mad when she finally found her. So, I took that as my cue to leave the area and go look for an adult book to read.

I had already decided that I was just going to pick something off of the best seller table because I knew Jake would not be still for me to actually look through the books and I figured if it's a bestseller it would be good enough for me. I put him down for five seconds to look at the back of two books I was trying to decide between. Five seconds. Now, Jake's normal speed is turbo. Amy says he looks like a wind up toy when he gets going. He just starts zooming around. It's kind of like the Energizer Bunny on a triple shot espresso from Starbucks. I'm not kidding you that he went straight back to those plastic bags and pulled them all down from the table toppling over all of the books again. And while I was picking up that mess, he went to the next table and did the exact same thing. That's when I lost my cool and said "Jacob Michael, STOP"! And as I was running over to get him, my booty (which we all know is the biggest part of my body) ran into another stack of books on another table and I knocked them over as well. So, that's three tables, three book displays, on the ground. Lovely.

I kept waiting for someone to come help me. But nobody did. There were several people there giving me disapproving looks though. As if to say, "that's what she gets for bringing her child into a bookstore of all things". Thanks people. It's that compassion for one another that's going to change the world.

Friday, June 6, 2008

It's a Wilderness out There

Mike and I have been watching this show on the Discovery Channel called The Alaska Project lately. Basically, it's like Survivor without all the games and cash prizes at the end. And since it's freezing in Alaska you don't have to see these people running around with little to no clothing on.

So, they drop four small groups of people off in four different locations for three months and tell them to try to survive the best they can. There is an "expert survival person" lurking around somewhere so these people don't get themselves killed. It's been very interesting. They had to learn to hunt goats and birds. They learned how to fish for salmon and stay away from bears and wolves. They battled cabin fever and really harsh conditions. We've really enjoyed watching it together. The problem is that during every episode Mike looks at me and says "we could SO do this." And I smile and nod and think to myself "no way in hell."

I fully believe that we could go somewhere a little more, I don't know, tropical and survive off the land for three months. But I know in my heart of hearts I wouldn't last two days in Alaska in the winter time. Because I don't like to be cold. I think I could handle the hiking, but the hypothermia would really get to me. I would whine. I would become unbearable to be around. I know this because in high school I got roped into going on a ski trip in New Mexico with our youth group. My friend Paige who was a much better skier than me took me to the top of this mountain where I experienced first hand what it's like to have altitude sickness and minor hypothermia. I remember at one point just falling over in the snow with my skis on and telling her to go on without me. I was just going to "rest" there for awhile. The truth is I really wanted to just go towards the light that was beckoning to me. We had been on the mountain for maybe 45 minutes. Ski patrol had to come get me and take me down on a snow mobile. Then I had to stay in this tent thing for awhile receiving oxygen. Not pretty.

I'm all for doing some kind of challenge with Mike because I think it would be a great experience. But I was kind of hoping for a chance to be on The Amazing Race or maybe a couples edition of "Survivor". At least on Survivor I could get my tan on during our down time. Instead of having to chop wood or gut a goat or something. I am just not hard core enough for The Alaska Experiment. I just don't want Mike to know that because I want him to think I'm hard core. But seriously ya'll, please don't let him take me to Alaska unless it's for a vacation. With a hotel nearby. And some whale watching. Please.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I'm a little bugged

Yesterday as Jake and I were out playing in the backyard I saw the biggest ant of my entire life on my chair and freaked out just a little bit. If you've seen the new Indiana Jones movie then you know how big this ant was. The thing about Texas is we have lots of bugs here and they are BIG.

It totally made me flash back to my childhood and what I refer to as the "incident with the bee". One day riding home from school in my carpool I felt a strange vibration in my pants. Minds out of the gutter please. It was actually in the knee of my jeans. I was in third grade I think and I just remember being totally freaked out but I didn't want to say anything because someone other than my mom was driving me home and I didn't want to cause a scene. So I sort of swattted the area. Bad idea. The vibrations turned to pain. Blinding hot, white pain. The pain caused me to scream. The screaming caused my friend's mom to freak out and pull over. I jumped out of the car and a few minutes later we found a dead bumblebee at my feet and realized what had happened. I've always been told that a bee can only sting you once and then he dies. Well, I guess this bee had superpowers because he got me two or three times. My knee swelled up and there was much groaning and discomfort.

I still cannot fathom how that bee got in my pants. I know I was wearing those Luv It jeans that were so popular back then. Probably the ones with the lips on the back pocket. And I know they were tight because for some reason I wore my jeans entirely too tight as a child. I can tell you that on at least three occasions in elementary school I bent over only to hear the rip of the seam in the bottom of my pants. Apparently, I've always had a little extra junk in the trunk. Anyhoo, that gigantic bumblebee somehow crawled up the leg of my jeans and found he had to make his last stand right there because he could not possibly have been able to crawl back out of those tight jeans.

Lucky for the ant that it's way too hot in Texas right now for me to be wearing jeans outside. He just crawled right over my leg and went on his merry way.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Things that make you go "yum"

If you happen to have a lone Guinness beer in your refrigerator left over from St. Patrick's Day when your Irish husband had to have a Guinness while he ate cornbeef and cabbage and he can only cook that stuff when you're out of town visiting your parents because the smell of it makes you want to gag, THEN you should use it to bake this cake. It really is delicious. I made my icing with the Hershey's dark chocolate instead of regular cocoa and it was fantastic.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Cost of toys: $3 for both at a neighborhood garage sale

Entertainment pleasure for Jake: Priceless