Here's a phrase I never thought I would hear myself say. "STOP MOVING! Go tell your dad you have poop all over your face!"
You see, the other night we went to our friends' house for dinner and a game night. Emma of course pooped her diaper moments after we arrived. So I asked my friend where she wanted me to change her diaper and she said that anywhere in their bedroom would be fine. I took Emma and laid her down on their bed, removed the poopy diaper and set it aside open face up. While I was cleaning her up her brother ran into the room and did a flying leap onto the bed landing face down in the poopy diaper. I have to say it was a very impressive leap.
He had poop smeared all over the lower half of his face including his mouth. It was by far one of the grossest things I've ever seen. He seemed to be okay until I screamed the above phrase and he realized what had happened. Chaos ensued. I was very proud of him for not touching his face or sticking out his tongue to lick it off or anything. He freaked and started crying but he did go find his daddy to tell him to wipe the poop off of his face.
Good times. It takes moments like these to remind myself why we don't go anywhere or invite people over more often. I really just was praying we could make it through the evening with no fleas jumping off of our kids bodies onto their kids bodies. I'm thinking our social lives will commence again when the kids are in elementary school. Until then, just email me.