When do little boys start to learn a little etiquette and good manners? Jake is really into potty humor these days and it is driving me crazy. What is wrong with me that I don't think the words "toot" and "poop" are all that funny? He thinks they are hilarious and I believe Mike does as well. In between all the tooting and pooping comments Jake fills the time with spitting. Remember when I said I don't like to take the children out in public? Do you see why?
Last weekend I took both kids to our neighborhood park to play. Some of our neighbors were there and I was pushing Emma in a swing talking to the other mama while Jake rode his bike around the park. At one point I looked up to check on him and saw that he had dismounted from his bicycle and had felt free enough to go ahead and drop his shorts and underwear to pee in the grass. Really? Really? Yes, really. At first I tried to distract everyone else from looking over there but then I just got a fit of the giggles. I mean, he had a pretty good arcing stream going on and looked quite proud of himself. So I said to the other mama "do you see what my child is doing?" So she looked and cracked up too. She has a three year old boy so I think she understood. Later, I said Jake why were you peeing in the grass? And he said "because I can." So I had to explain that just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you SHOULD.
The whole episode reminded me of a story his teachers told me a few weeks ago. They had their class sitting around in a circle doing show and tell. The letter for the week was "S". So they were all coming up with words that start with an "S". The next thing they knew my boy stood up, dropped his pants and showed everyone his Spiderman underwear because we all know that Spiderman starts with an "S". His teachers said the other kids were completely unphased by this and went on with show and tell like nothing had happened. The teachers themselves couldn't stop laughing. Only my boy. I hope he doesn't try pulling that same trick in kindergarden.
I'll leave you with one last thought. A few nights ago Mike and I were sitting on the couch. I had had a very rough day with the kids. From somewhere in the recesses of our house I hear Jake scream "MOM! I NEED HELP!" Ya'll. I was exhausted. I told him to come to me. If he needed help he was going to have to drag his little body to the couch. The next thing we hear is "I HAVE POOPY ON MY HANDS!" Hold the phone. Don't come to me! My sweet hubby knew I was done and he went to investigate. Jake was in the bathroom with about half a roll of toilet paper in the potty. Mike said "Why do you have poop on your hands?" Jake responded "because I put my hand in my booty!" Ya'll. We need prayer. Big time.