This is Monster. He lives in our garage. Six months ago if I had seen a spider of this size he would have died just as fast as I could scream "Mike! Come get this spider!" However, it seems I've becomed more enlightened in my fortieth year. I really feel like Monster means us no harm. So, he's allowed to stay.
In fact, a few days ago when the pest control people came over to spray the house and yard because we found yet another scorpion inside, I asked the guy to leave the garage alone. When he looked at me like I was a crazy person I patiently explained to him that I have a pet spider who lives in the garage named Monster and I would really like to protect him from harsh chemicals that will cause him to die. Oddly enough, the guy kept looking at me like I was crazy. He then asked me what kind of spider it was and I said the big, brown kind. Then he began a ten minute dissertation on how the only spider he likes is the Charlotte's web spider who makes zigzags in her web. And I was all, "Oh, yeah, I have one of those on a tomato plant in the garden. Please don't get anywhere near her either." Really, I just wanted to send the scorpions a message. Apparently, insecticide is indiscriminate.
The day after he sprayed I saw Monster in the garage looking alive as ever. But, I think the kids may have scared him out into the flower bed right beside the garage. Sadly, I have not seen him since. I miss my Monster. I'm hoping he made it off our property alive. I did see a Monster Jr. in the garage yesterday. Maybe we can become friends too. Maybe the garage just wasn't big enough for two monsters.