Thursday, March 10, 2011

The day Charlie Sheen messed with my life

Ya'll. I don't quite know how to tell you this. I really don't even know where to begin because I just can't believe it myself. Actually, I can totally believe it because this is the story of my life. I am so disappointed right now. Mr. Springfield has cancelled his book signing event for Austin. No autograph. No photo op. Take a moment of silence to compose yourselves.

Are you done? So I got a message from Amy today telling me to call her back right away. I knew she was going to tell me something about Rick but I truly thought it was going to be something good. Like, we were going to get to have cheese and crackers and a glass of wine with him before the book signing or something. (Amy has connections.)

Alas, she called to tell me that he had cancelled the whole shin-dig. After I picked my jaw up off the ground and jump started my heart again I asked her the only question that mattered. Why? It was so reminiscent of getting dumped by so many ex-boyfriends out of the blue. All you really want to know is why? Usually, okay always, they don't give you an answer. They just look at you and say "it's not you, it's me, okay?"

Well, it seems that Rick didn't cancel because of me. Rumor has it (and this is not confirmed, just something Amy's connection told her) that he cancelled on account of freakin' Charlie Sheen. Can you believe it? Rick's "people" said something to the effect that he is being considered to fill Charlie's now empty spot on Two and a Half Men. Okay. I love Rick, but unless he's going to fill the spot by playing the men's dad then I don't see how this is going to work.

Dear Charlie Sheen,

Thank you so much for ruining my life long dream of meeting Rick Springfield. I am trying to be a loving, forgiving person but you are making it almost impossible for me. I see you on your balcony, waving your machete around and I want to puke. You should be at the studio playing nicely with others to produce some quality television programming instead of drinking tiger blood and playing with your goddesses. Thanks to you one of the four or five things in my "bucket list" just got dropped back down to the bottom of the bucket where it will forever remain doomed to live in silence in the darkness. Definitely not "winning." At first, I felt sorry for you and just wanted you to get some help. Now, I'm a little ticked off that your brand of crazy is rubbing off on my life.

Angry in Austin, LM

So, I will press on with life for the sake of my hubby and children. But this has been a blow my friends. A real big blow. I guess I can cancel the hair cut, eyebrow wax, and mani/pedi I had scheduled for next week. Oh, and I was going to post pictures of me in different outfits so you could all tell me what to wear to meet Rick. See? Now, Charlie Sheen has ruined some of your fun too. Oh, I kid. but not really. I mean, seriously, what are the odds?

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