Monday, April 2, 2012

The crab

Last Tuesday night Jake went to bed and we discovered that we couldn't find his coveted stuffed crab anywhere. We figured he would turn up the next day so nobody really worried about it. Then we couldn't find him on Wednesday. Or Thursday. The last time I remembered seeing him was Tuesday afternoon while we were outside playing with the neighbors. Jake kept throwing Crabby onto the roof of our Jeep and we kept getting it down for him. I started to fear that he had thrown it up there one last time without someone getting it down. And then maybe we drove to school the next day with crabby on the top of our car and he fell off and was lost forever. Ugh. I actually lost sleep over this Thursday night. Crabby is more than a toy over here. He is a symbol. He is a symbol of love and innocence and everything that is good and warm in the world. Crabby has seen Jake through every single day of his life so far.

I could not imagine life without Crabby. I wanted to put posters with his picture up all over the neighborhood in case someone had picked him up. Mike told me that was a little on the crazy side. He is my reality check. Instead I asked all of our neighbors to be on the look out for Mr. Crab. Then I cried. Then I prayed. Because I don't think the loss of Mr. Crab is too little for God to be concerned with. I also thought I might need some help with letting things go. So I just prayed that Crabby would either show himself by the end of the day Saturday or that I would be okay with him being gone. And that Jake wouldn't be too sad for the loss of his dear friend. And that I would remember that God is with my child every day even if Crabby is not. And while Crab didn't show up on Saturday, I did feel better about things and I slept well Saturday night. Jake and I had a talk about what a good friend he had been and we remembered how silly that crab was. Seriously. We need help around here.

Sunday morning, Jake marched straight over to our piano and said "mama, I'm about to get something very special!" And just then I looked and saw two little blue claws peeking out behind a picture we have sitting there. Lo and behold, there was Crabby! I swear we had turned this house upside down looking for that toy. Jake said "now I remember hiding him there!" Now. I don't know for sure that Mr. Crab was hiding there for five days. He could have been. But I also know that we looked everywhere and I don't see how we missed it there. I also know that I believe in miracles. And I think it is entirely possible that God gave us an Easter miracle this year. And that Mr. Crab was given new life for that boy of mine. I also know that I'm a little crazy so go talk amongst yourselves.

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