Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The hands have a mind of their own...

Recently I've noticed that Jake has started talking to his hands. That's okay with me. I figure it's kind of like having an imaginary friend except he can actually see his friend and there are two of them. Then I started to listen to the conversations he was having with his hands. They all go pretty much like this, "GO TO TIME OUT!" "YOU'RE GOING TO GET A SPANKING!" Hmm. I wonder where he gets all THAT from?

Last week it seems his hands were having a really hard time with self control and keeping to themselves. We were on our way to school one morning when I realized that my child was in his carseat hitting himself upside the head multiple times. Hard. Really hard. Then he would say "HAND! Stop doing that or you're going to time out!" So, just to clarify, I asked him who was hitting him. He said it was his hands. I said make them stop. He said "I trying to make them go to time out!" Try explaining to a 2 1/2 year old that he actually controls his hands.

Then I started realizing that it must be hereditary. Because I too lose control of my hands at times. How else can we explain the unstoppable shoveling of chocolate cake or brownies or whatever into my mouth even when I know I'm not hungry. Even when I tell myself I really shouldn't be eating all of this junk. Well, it's my hands fault. They are of the devil.

The ultimate in mind/hand control happened to me last Friday. I've been suffering from a pinched nerve or just really sore muscles for some time now. So, I finally decided to cash in on a massage gift certificate my wonderful hubby gave me at Christmas time. I went in and met my masseuse who was a very nice lady. However, she was a little overweight. Normally, I could care less about what a person weighs. Heaven knows I'm struggling right now too. It's just that at one point she actually had her belly resting in the palm of my hand during my massage. It freaked me out! I didn't know her well enough for that. My first reaction was to exclaim "OOOHH!" But I thought that would be rude. So I just laid there with her tummy in my palm. Then, I felt my fingers starting to twitch and realized just at the last second that they were planning on tickling that tummy! I couldn't get the thought out of my mind. And then I thought about Jake. I just put that hand in time out for the rest of my massage and told those fingers that if they didn't behave they would be getting a serious spanking when we got home.


  1. that's hilarious! I hope she finally moved for you so you could enjoy the remainder of your session